


Jidai Fusion Paradise

by astrangerenters



Category: Arashi (Band), Japanese Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Humor, M/M, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:12:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of a reluctant catering company employee, his boss, his friends, and the Tortoise Costume of Destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**LET'S FIESTA JAPAN! - NUMAZU BRANCH  
** 5-5-10 OTEMACHI, NUMAZU, SHIZUOKA  
PARTY CATERING SERVICES SPECIALIZING IN EVENTS OF FIVE TO FIFTY GUESTS  
CHOOSE US FOR YOUR NEXT INTIMATE PARTY EXPERIENCE! 

**Our prompt and professional team provides courteous, thoughtful service for your family gathering, birthday party, or formal event. Leave the thinking to us as we serve delicious appetizers, main courses, and desserts from local establishments.**

**For more information contact Team Leader Sakurai Sho or visit our website noted below...**

**

You can see Mount Fuji from the bathroom window, Aiba had informed him earlier when he was blowing up balloons. It was a lie, of course. A lie aimed at drawing Nino away from work, which was very un-Aibalike. If there was anything Nino had learned about Aiba Masaki in the years they'd been working together it was that Aiba was a decent employee.

But on most days they were able to contract out for cosplay. However, today their Tatsuo the Tortoise had canceled at the last minute with a dead great aunt, and thus Aiba was suffering on behalf of all of them. Little Hanemura Kosuke was turning eight years old today, and his wealthy parents had opened their home to what seemed like Kosuke-kun's entire grade at school. Even now the obnoxious boys and girls with their sticky fingers were racing throughout the house, their socks squeaking and sliding around the hardwood floors as Nino walked the room with a tray of miniature cupcakes for the long-suffering parents.

Content to let the kids run around until they crashed from their sugar highs, the Hanemuras and several other parents were camped out in the living room, lighting up cigarettes and downing beers with expressions on their faces wondering how they'd gotten to a point in their lives where they were responsible for eight year old monsters. Nino kept his own expression blank as the cupcakes vanished from his tray. Kids weren't so bad, Nino decided, until you had about 20 of them in a house. And then they were demons.

Cupcakes distributed, he found Ohno in the kitchen filling another cooler with ice and tossing in cans of Asahi Dry. "Already dessert," Nino said to his co-worker. "You think they'll go through that much beer?"

Ohno helped himself to a can, cracking the top with a smile. "Well, some of them are for me."

Nino set down the empty cupcake tray, returning Ohno's smile with a wry grin. "Better not let Sho-chan catch you sampling the merchandise."

Ohno gestured with the beer can to the back yard where even now the birthday boy and five of his chunkiest companions were chasing their boss around, intent on jamming their fingers in his butthole. "I think Sho-kun's occupied for now," Ohno said.

As someone who got his fill of humanity after a morning visit to the convenience store, Ninomiya Kazunari didn't seem like the type of person to work at a party catering company. But he'd come out of college with a useless degree and a friendship with Sakurai Sho and simply hadn't found a better occupation yet. Then again, Sho hadn't exactly gone to college with ambitions of running the Numazu branch office of Let's Fiesta Japan. Nino supposed that if Sho had gone into funeral home management or operated a Hokkaido tourism outfit instead, he'd probably be hanging out with corpses or potatoes respectfully right now. Nino didn't see much point in working someplace where Sho wasn't his boss.

"You see Aiba-chan?" he asked Ohno, who was setting out some more mini cupcakes in between happy slurps of Asahi.

"Tatsuo the Tortoise you mean?" Ohno teased, pointing at a bored little girl who'd parked herself in the hallway between the Hanemuras' kitchen and living room. 

"They're eight, Oh-chan, they know it's a guy in a costume."

Ohno grinned, hoisting the cupcakes for his own run through the bored parents' hideaway. "He told me he was going to the bathroom. But that was about 20 minutes ago..."

Nino sighed, letting his co-worker head off while he walked in the opposite direction, taking the stairs in the back of the house up. The upstairs bathroom wasn't open to guests, but they'd let the Let's Fiesta crew use it to avoid the line of frosting-covered kids on the ground floor. As soon as Nino's foot hit the landing, he could hear the groan coming from the little room at the end of the hall.

"Masaki," Nino called. "You in there?"

"Oh Nino, thank god," he heard Aiba's scratchy voice return to him from the other side of the door.

Nino waited, leaving the door shut. "Where have you been? I think Sho's about to get an unwelcome surprise up his ass in a few minutes. The kids need Tatsuo to entertain them."

"You can come in," Aiba said.

Nino opened the door, finding Aiba looking forlorn, toilet seat up and patiently waiting for him to pay a visit. He raised an eyebrow, finding the Tatsuo Tortoise head resting in the sink and the tortoise hands in the bathtub. Aiba was tall and skinny with the long, lanky limbs of someone they'd show in a commercial set at the beach, some male idol running in slow motion as ocean spray glistened on his beautiful skin. Nino wasn't sure how someone like Aiba had gotten into catering either.

But the Tatsuo costume left skinny Aiba looking sumo-sized, the big brown shell on his back heavier than it looked and a stuffed yellow tummy on his front balancing out the shell's weight. Sweat was pouring down from his hairline, and Nino could only imagine the stink gathering inside the costume. He was suddenly happy all over again that he hadn't lost janken for the Tatsuo costume.

"I have been trying to pee for half an hour," Aiba informed him, leaning back against the window that afforded no view of Mount Fuji whatsoever. "Nino, I can't get to my dick. At all."

Nino quirked an eyebrow, approaching his co-worker and dropping into a crouch. It was obvious right away what the problem was. Beneath the bulbous belly, Nino saw the jammed zipper on the green tortoise pants. "You aren't...stuck to the zipper, are you?" Nino inquired.

Aiba shook his head.

"Alright."

Nino took hold of the zipper in his hand, and Aiba braced himself. He gave the zipper a tug and then another, hearing the rip as it went. But if it was between paying for a rental costume because it ripped or paying for a rental costume because you pissed inside it, Nino supposed a rip was less embarrassing to explain.

"Ohhhh," he heard Aiba groan from above him, feeling the pouchy belly of the costume deflate a bit onto his head before he backed away and got to his feet. Already Aiba was shimmying the costume down his body and undoing the fly on his boxer briefs.

Nino groaned in disgust, turning away as he heard the first splash in the toilet. "Jesus, Masaki...I'll be in the hall..."

He closed the bathroom door behind him, chuckling to himself. He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on. He rapped his knuckles against the wood. "Need a zip-up?"

But then the faucet shut off, and there was silence.

"Masaki?"

He could hear the kids outside screaming, the dull murmured voices of the parents inside the house. He opened the door again, finding Aiba leaning against the sink with a come hither stare that might otherwise have been attractive if he didn't have a tortoise costume and shell kicked into the corner of the bathroom behind him.

"You're kidding," Nino said.

Aiba giggled, a sound that was even less erotic than him standing in the middle of a client's butterfly-wallpapered bathroom in his underwear and green tortoise foot covers. "Come on, let me thank you."

"You just did," Nino informed him, trying to ignore the reaction of his body even as his mind found the situation less than desirable. 

It had been a while since Aiba had come on to him, and it usually took a few beers before he wanted to do more than make out. Aiba had always been more of a lady killer than an equal opportunity type, but when Aiba was overflowing with intense feelings of gratitude, Nino discovered that Aiba would usually decide between crying it out or fucking it out. Nino assumed that since only moments earlier he'd been crouching down in front of Aiba's crotch, even the urgent need to pee hadn't kept his friend's thoughts from straying south.

"Just tell me one thing," Nino said, shutting the door behind him. He thought of the non-Fuji view out the window, and Aiba's obvious frustration with having to dress as a tortoise instead of the Let's Fiesta tie, dress shirt, and black slacks. "You didn't get that zipper stuck on purpose, did you?"

"Well," Aiba admitted, taking hold of Nino by the shoulders to back him awkwardly against the bathroom sink. "Okay, so at first I really was just going to pee and come back downstairs, honest. But I thought about what would happen if it got stuck...and then it really got stuck. Seriously. But then again, Nino, you coming up here like a knight in shining armor just got me so hot..."

"You are an asshole," Nino chided his friend, even as Aiba laughed and slid down to his knees on the tile. 

It had been a rough week for the Let's Fiesta Japan Numazu branch office - a wedding that had ended with the bride's father taken away on a stretcher after throwing out his back doing the limbo, another kid's party where some future serial killer popped all the balloons, and then a beach wedding that had left sand in places Nino hadn't even known he'd had. So maybe Aiba really was thankful and maybe Nino really did need to release some tension.

He shut his eyes and sighed when Aiba got his slacks unzipped, offering little preamble before grabbing hold of him and taking Nino deep inside his hot mouth. It was wrong, doing this here, because Aiba was a good employee and Nino was a good employee. But when things started to add up like beach weddings and tortoise costumes and the reality that they were in a job they didn't like all that much, maybe it was good to just say "fuck it" once in a while and have a little fun.

Aiba was already doing a stellar job thanking Nino for his assistance, his mouth being rather welcome accommodations. Nino's hands gripped the edge of the sink countertop, and he let his head loll back, settling in to the feeling of Aiba's tongue and the warmth of his mouth. There was no Mount Fuji as far as he could see - this window was probably facing the wrong way anyhow. 

He groaned when Aiba took him so far down his throat that his nose brushed against the black fabric of Nino's slacks. He almost lost it then and there, reminding himself of the tortoise costume to keep himself in check. He fisted his hand in Aiba's short dyed brown hair, wanting to loosen his tie and stay a while. But of course he could still hear the kids outside, screaming about the cupcakes Ohno was probably plying them with, as if they needed more sugar.

And the cupcake clamor masked the sound of slippers on the stairs, so when Sho opened the door and let out a strangled little shriek, Nino jumped, sending Aiba's mouth off his cock with a swift little pop, leaving the guy sprawled on the bathroom tile in his underwear.

Sho had already slammed the door shut in his panic, apologizing profusely on the other side as Nino shoved himself back inside his boxers, zipping up his slacks in haste. Aiba started to laugh, still on the floor. "Oops," he said, like it was nothing for their boss to walk in on a blow job.

Which, well, it wasn't really the first time anyway, but then boner killer Sho was back inside the room and shutting the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sho grumbled at both of them. 

It was hard not to love Sakurai Sho. All three of them, even Ohno, doted on Sho like he was a newborn kitten. Of course, Sho was a grown man, 30 years old and the textbook definition of "responsible," but he was also sweet and awkward and easily scandalized by the sexual shenanigans of his employees. Because Sho took his position so seriously, he wouldn't sleep with them. Because Sho was a workaholic, he made little effort to get laid in his very limited down time. Because Sho was a great boss, he didn't complain about them fucking around with each other so long as the work didn't suffer. So Sakurai Sho was a strange combination of long-suffering, I've-seen-it-all-before and a blushing virgin.

He wasn't a virgin, of course, but Nino could count on one hand the number of times his boss and best friend had had sex since they'd been paired up as college roommates by the whims of university housing. Nino had even given Sho's hand a nickname, but he loved Sho too much to really rag on him about it.

"Let's just get to the point," Nino said, already missing Aiba's perfect lips in the perfect place as he got up off the tile and started to hurriedly put his costume back on. "There's a tear in the crotch of the tortoise costume. We'll have to pay for it."

"Well, that's just great," Sho said in exasperation, running his hand through his hair. "Look, Hanemura-san has a business trip come morning, so it's looking like things are going to wrap up. Nino, I need you downstairs for clean-up, and Aiba-chan, I need you to corral all the kids together so they can go home."

Aiba settled the Tatsuo Tortoise head on top of his shoulders once more. "Does my belly cover the hole in the pants?" he asked, voice muffled.

"Yes," Sho and Nino said in unison.

Nino dutifully left the Hanemuras' bathroom behind, following the costumed bulk that was Aiba back down the stairs, Sho at his heels. Ohno hurriedly shoved his empty beer can in the Hanemuras' aluminum recycling bin as they arrived. Sho seemed to ignore this, and he was probably still lost in the idea of what he'd walked in on. 

The three of them set to work picking up the empty food trays, making a few trips back and forth to the Let's Fiesta van in the Hanemuras' driveway. As the tots wandered away with their take-home treats, half of them hugged Tatsuo while the other half punched him in the stomach. Nice kids. When the house was clear, they finished tidying up the family's kitchen, waiting patiently in the van for Sho to return after a few final words with the family.

Sho got into the van, slamming the door after him. Nino and Aiba were sitting side by side in the back seat, and Nino caught Sho's eyes in the rearview mirror. "You guys are so lucky it was me who walked in and not the kids."

With that, Ohno burst out laughing, and Aiba smacked him with the Tatsuo Tortoise head.

"Yeah, break the costume even more, it's coming out of your pay, you know," Sho scolded. 

They took the van back through town, crossing the Kano River on their way to the office. The Let's Fiesta office occupied the second floor of a rather drab concrete building a stone's throw from the train station and a few kilometers from Suruga Bay. It was pretty good real estate, but the first beach wedding they'd catered for had soured Nino on the town's waterfront for good.

Ohno helped Sho get the costume off of Aiba, shoving it into the backseat of Sho's car, shell and all. The two of them drove off, leaving Aiba and Nino alone. Aiba clearly owed Nino an end result, but the sun was already setting, and it had been a long day. 

He helped Aiba unload all the empty main course and dessert trays, packing them into the trunk of Aiba's car. He'd take them back to the restaurants that provided the catered meals, and from the look of cheer in Aiba's face, Nino knew his needs had mostly been forgotten. It was Becky at Shimura's Restaurant that Aiba really had eyes for. Which was fine, of course, but if it hadn't been for Sho's intervention at least Aiba could have finished what he'd started.

"Well, that's all for me today," Aiba announced, dressed in jeans and a v-neck tee and looking far better than he had all day. He waved goodbye as Aiba backed out of the parking lot, Nino stuck with the realization that's he'd been blown, correction, _halfway_ blown by a guy in a tortoise costume. That left Nino to walk back home to his apartment building alone, shuddering.

Two blessed days of peace and quiet before their next party. That night, Nino dreamt of a tortoise with a cupcake shell.

**

"You never log on anymore," Sho complained, flagging down the waiter to get him another cup of coffee. It was Nino's day off, something he considered extremely sacred, but Sho had invited him out and Nino figured he owed it to him since he'd messed around on company time.

The place was Sho's ideal for a coffee date spot - tinny jazz piping through the speakers, stylish leather seats, and unobtrusive staff. Nino wasn't a coffee drinker, but Sho was, drinking it with one cream, two sugars, and holding up his pinky adorably while he did so. Something was clearly bothering Sho that morning, though, because by the time Nino had wandered into the shop, Sho was munching furiously on some pastries. Sho was always eating his feelings instead of talking about them.

"It's not that I don't log on," Nino protested, sipping his oolong tea, swirling the ice cubes around with his straw once he set it back down on the coaster. "It's that nobody's on when I'm on."

Sho frowned at him. "Well, that's because you keep strange hours. Like some kind of vampire. You always have."

Nino grinned. The two of them in the same dorm room had been kind of nuts - Sho waking early for his very full days of hitting the coffee, the books, and the gym, in that order. Nino staying up into the dead of night, wearing his headset while he crept around the Internet or bloody corridors in the latest shoot-em-up video game. Since they hadn't killed each other back then, it only made sense for them to become the best of friends.

"I swear, I logged on last week, and the place was a ghost town."

Sho sipped his coffee, unable to think of a protest just yet.

Sho had double majored in history and business administration at school, and Nino had opted for archaeology despite having little interest in spending the rest of his days breaking his back in the sun to dig up ancient garbage. Their mutual interest in the past had led them to a message board community on the Internet in their last year of undergrad.

Jidai Fusion Paradise was a real piece of work, attracting historical roleplayers from all over Japan as well as foreigners looking to practice their language skills. In the early days, most of the members of the community had played it straight - sticking to roleplaying with historical figures from their own time frame. Saigo Takamori hung around with Okubo Toshimichi and the other Meiji-era elites, Oda Nobunaga and Mori Ranmaru role-played sixteenth century samurai sex day in and day out.

Sho had always taken the community very seriously, and he had cast himself as some scholar from the Edo period, playing out lengthy scenes with his fellow nerds about how to best advise the shogun. He'd shown Nino a thread once that had taken fourteen days to complete, but had resulted in an in-depth set of laws governing currency circulation. Needless to say that Nino usually left Sho to his own devices on the boards.

Nino had watched Sho's obsession develop over the last few years as he ended up taking the job in Numazu that he hadn't really wanted, Nino following him to Shizuoka Prefecture from their homes in Tokyo. Sho was the perfect employee, running his branch office properly, but the disappointment his friend felt in not becoming some high-ranking civil servant weighed on him heavily. Thus developing currency circulation legalese in his free time. Again, it explained a lot about why Sho didn't get laid too often.

Nino had bounced around the boards before finally settling on Murasaki Shikibu. Since most people on the boards back then had been like Sho and heavily into Tokugawa shogunate-era bureaucratic snoozefests, Nino didn't post much. Roleplaying as a woman was the challenge Nino preferred. Females on the message boards tended to ignore the boys' club to portray females who were not historically likely to write up currency laws or spend a month negotiating with emissaries from the Joseon dynasty (who were actually Korean roleplayers trolling their board on purpose). Instead they typed out court intrigue and drama, emotion and depth of character, like a soap opera they constructed themselves.

He'd done his fair share of reading up on Murasaki, her life at court, the time she'd spent writing out the Tale of Genji. She appealed to Nino in a way that all the samurai and their honor codes never had. A difficult, intelligent woman isolated at court, jotting down her thoughts and observations. Nino was no psychology student, but he'd always been more of a reactive than active personality anyway. He and Murasaki just clicked.

Over time, though, Jidai Fusion Paradise had started to die off. Many of Sho's cohort left for other games or lost interest. The eras started to mix, historical accuracy flew out the window, and before Sho and Nino knew it, Prince Shotoku was leaping out of the 7th century to chat up some geisha in 18th century Kyoto. It mostly turned into a hook-up board, and Sho was always trying to get Nino to participate, if only to have a sounding board for his latest government reforms instead of someone trying to proposition him.

"I'm sick to death of Sakamoto Ryoma," Sho complained, setting down his coffee cup. "Bakumatsu bastard."

Nino held in a chuckle at Sho's outrage. An obvious troll had set up an account as Sakamoto Ryoma, leaving nasty "DOWN WITH THE SHOGUNATE!" threats across a bunch of Sho's threads, even threads he'd played out five years earlier. 

"Maybe you should take a break. Or try a new era. Japan has a long and illustrious history, you know."

Sho glared at him, shoving the remainder of a brownie in his mouth.

"Or don't," Nino said, not wanting to rock the boat. The man was damn stubborn when it came to his shogunate fanboying. "Alright, tell me what's really wrong with you. This isn't about Jidai Fusion and you know it."

"There's nothing wrong with me," Sho said with a roll of his eyes, wiping chocolate from his mouth. 

"I saw you close your office door the other day," Nino pointed out. "You can't hide from me, Sakurai."

Sho looked like he was going to vomit up the truth any moment, but he kept his mouth shut, munching on his pity snacks. As a rule of thumb, Sho always kept his office door open. Since he was rarely in it. There were only the four of them after all, since Numazu wasn't exactly a swinging place. Comparatively, Nino knew that the Tokyo office in Akasaka employed 500 people. They kept office hours when there weren't parties to work, which mainly involved Nino and Aiba wasting office supplies by covering an always tolerant Ohno head to toe with post-it notes while Sho made calls to customers to follow up on past and future events.

But a call had come in the other day, and Sho had closed his door. Either he'd been in there having phone sex (unlikely because it was Sakurai Sho) or something serious was going on. Nino didn't like Sho keeping secrets from him, so he kept picking at the scab.

"Did a customer cancel?"

Sho looked ready to strangle him. "No."

"Did the costume rental place yell at you about Tatsuo? Aiba didn't come inside the suit did he?"

"No," Sho said with a disgusted wrinkle of his nose.

Nino scratched his chin. "Was it your mom?"

"Nino..."

"So it _was_ your mom!"

"It was not my mom. Don't talk about my mom."

"She's a wonderful woman. Appreciate her more, especially since you haven't given her any grandchildren yet."

Sho waved his hand desperately for the waiter again. "I didn't invite you out to talk about my mom. Or about my phone calls. I'm your boss, I don't have to tell you everything."

Nino smiled. He loved seeing Sho get flustered. The guy already had a round, adorable face, and when he was frustrated it seemed like he'd use those puffed out cheeks to huff, puff, and blow someone's house down. In the early days of their friendship, Nino had told Sho he'd be better off huffing, puffing, and blowing some _one_ as a way of letting off steam, but Sho rarely accepted any advice Nino had to offer. 

"Then why are we here?"

Sho sighed. "Because I'm supposed to reprimand you and make a note of it in your file. I'm meeting Aiba-kun for dinner tonight to officially reprimand him."

"Oh, he'll like that, Masaki will. He's a total M, if you didn't know," Nino said with a leer, and Sho flung his napkin at him.

"I'm supposed to reprimand you," Sho repeated, "for what you did at the party. I let you guys dick around, I always have, and honestly, I don't know why I keep letting you take advantage of me."

He was serious, Nino realized. Most of the time Sho's disciplinary measures involved Nino having to pay for Sho's car wash or Ohno having to pick up Sho's dry cleaning. Sho never wrote them up for anything. Nino sat up a little straighter in his chair as the waiter arrived with Sho's fortieth coffee of the day.

"Sho-chan," Nino said. "We were just caught up in things. I'm really sorry. Those kids were little beasts, and we didn't think..."

"That's the problem. You never think with anything but what's between your legs, Nino. The company rule book says you aren't even allowed to fraternize with co-workers outside of work functions, much less during one." Fraternize was one of the words Sho liked to use in place of 'fuck' because he was in management. "But I let you because I know this job sucks. I know it does. I don't care what you or Satoshi-kun or Aiba-kun do when we're not working an event. But this honestly cannot happen again, are we clear?"

"We're clear, Sho-chan," Nino said, wondering just what that phone call had been. How had anyone even found out? Or had Sho been questioned by the head office? He hated seeing Sho upset for legitimate reasons - message board shenanigans were hilarious, but Sho being in genuine distress was another thing entirely. "We're clear, I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Sho replied, downing his coffee despite the steam rising off it, if only to have something to occupy the next few seconds with instead of having to yell at Nino.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Nino stirring the rapidly melting ice cubes around simply to drown out the boring jazz music for a bit.

"Sho-chan..."

"What?"

"I'll sign on. For Jidai Fusion. I'll sign on tonight, okay? At normal hours. I'm here if you need me."

Sho looked down at his lap, a smile quirking at the corner of his lips. Now that he'd gotten out all his unpleasantness, his blood pressure was probably returning to normal. "That wouldn't be historically accurate."

"Well, fuck you then," Nino said, throwing his straw at him in mock anger. They finished up their drinks, Nino accepting the bill as penance for his on the job blowjob (even though it hadn't been seen through to its conclusion, and even now Nino was full of disappointment). They had another kid's party the following day. Maybe if he and Aiba just had a quick go before the party got started, things would clear up for the best.

**

While a Giants game made some pleasant noise in the background, Nino logged on to Jidai Fusion Paradise. To be completely fair, he'd lied to Sho when he said he'd logged on the week before. He hadn't been on the boards in at least three months, and he'd only logged on to empty out his message box - nothing but invites to cybersex. Nino had been tempted initially by these things - it was harmless fun, but then Nino remembered that he was roleplaying a woman and would have a hard time masturbating and typing out to his partner about his clit simultaneously. Kind of a disconnect.

So there were 63 messages in his box, and he deleted them en masse before cracking open a beer and getting himself comfortable. He had his laptop propped open on his table, the TV in easy view behind it. It had been ages since he'd started a post of his own. The last thread he'd been a part of was some high school bullying alternate universe thread where Sei Shonagon was the lead bully and the other Heian court ladies were her high school classmates. Murasaki had, of course, been the target of the bullying, and Nino hadn't had to stretch himself mentally for that one - he'd been bullied like crazy in school.

But the "Sei Shonagon is a real bitch" fest was long over, and he scrolled through the board, seeing what players were up to. He was creeped out by the "Samurai Sex Dungeon" post, an obvious orgy thread spanning the eras. He found Sho's latest threads, and they were mostly him talking to himself, adding in original characters to create his own story about a day in the park planning a banquet in the shogun's honor. Nino noted that User:sakamoto_ryoma was the last comment in the post, and he couldn't hold back a chuckle.

Finally, near the bottom of the first page of results, he found a post from a name he hadn't seen in a while. Then he noticed the number - it was a new one. The old one had left the community ages ago.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
Subject:Looking 4 sum ninja friends

Nino smiled. Sho would probably cry at the sight of the great samurai Hattori Hanzo, savior of Tokugawa Ieyasu, looking for "sum ninja friends," and that gave Nino all the more reason to click on the post.

Subject:Looking 4 sum ninja friends  
looking 2 transport a vip thru iga territory. r u man enuf to help me?

Of course, it would be impossible for Murasaki to not only leap forward in time five or six centuries, but she was a woman and the furthest from a ninja as one could get. And Sho would be pissed off to see Nino's user name in a post like that, breaking character and time frame. But Jidai Fusion Paradise was a dead zone. Nino figured he could always pop in on Sho's threads as the Ghost of Murasaki Shikibu, hunting down Sakamoto Ryoma for having bad taste in literature. From the looks of the main message board, lots of people were going alternate universe lately.

He clicked on the reply box, channeling Murasaki as best he could after three months. It mostly just came out as babble, but so did most of Sho's threads and he usually had a dozen history reference books opened around the room when he posted.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
Good day, fair Master Hattori. Were I a man and possessed of such fighting skills as required, I should be thrilled and gladdened to participate in your adventure. Alas, I shall remain hidden here, cheering on your travails from afar. Perchance one day I shall recount your valor for all at court to hear. Good fortune to you in this endeavor. May you transport your charge with the utmost courage.

Looking back, he wasn't sure who the hell he sounded like, but because it looked like the Giants' pitcher was on his way to a no-hitter, Nino didn't much care about accuracy. He posted his reply and shut the lid on his laptop. After all, nobody could roleplay as horribly as Aiba had during the one week Sho had begged him to give it a try. User:commodore_perry had been booed out of the game because Aiba had simply gone to English language websites and copied out paragraphs of nonsense to post.

The game did end in a no-hitter, and Nino got up for a beer, checking the board once more. To his surprise, he already had a reply from Hattori Hanzo.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
4get shining prince genji. im going to be shining prince hanzo. fufufufu. hey murasaki im sure i can swing down 2 kyoto and pick u up. nowhere in japan is out of the way 4 hattori hanzo.

Nino stared at the message, covering his mouth to hide his laughter. Historically accurate, no. Entertaining, quite possibly yes. He decided to play along. Any distraction from the party tomorrow would be helpful.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
What a tempting offer, Master Hattori. Would that I could escape these inner palace walls, for the whispers and secrets of women hold little interest for me after these long years of service. A change of scenery, perhaps, would provide even more inspiration for writing...?

And then Hanzo was on him like Sho on a brownie, replying in less than a minute.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
sounds great. lemme just skip 4ward a bit here fufu. so blah blah with the help of the iga clan i got my buddy tokugawa 2 safety. so now im on the road, hoping and praying ill reach u soon. got my spear so nobody gonna hold me back fufu.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
I wrote for an extended period today, blessed as I was with several hours' peace and tranquility. That Master Hattori might soon be here in Heian-kyo is unthinkable. For many long years I have passed through life with these walls around me, all things in their ordered places. Yet the spontaneity promised me by Master Hattori has my heart beating strongly. I am eager to make his acquaintance.

And on it went, Nino laughing as he typed back and forth with the person who'd send the real Hattori Hanzo into fits in the afterlife. He hadn't had this much fun on Jidai Fusion in years, pining away in loneliness and isolation as Murasaki while Hattori spent his journey to Kyoto "poking at shit" with his "awesome spear."

Before he knew it, it was 4:30 in the morning, and he had to be awake in two hours' time. The party was way off in Komagane, a joint effort with the Nagoya branch office, and they had to leave early to drive around the mountains.

"Damn it," he said, blinking at his computer screen. He logged out and dragged himself onto the couch, hoping for at least some rest before he spent the remainder of the day handing out jello to screaming children.


	2. Chapter 2

Sho had a mug of coffee in every cup holder in the Let's Fiesta van, Nino feeling like a zombie as he sat in the passenger seat beside him, feet up on the truck's dashboard. Behind them, Aiba looked to be in decent shape, but Ohno seemed as tired as Nino felt.

"Rough night, Oh-chan?" Aiba asked, elbowing him as Sho left the office parking lot behind. Two stops and they could head for the highway - first to Shimura's to pick up the appetizers, then off to CDD for the desserts.

Ohno just grinned from ear to ear in a way that let everyone in the van know he'd gotten lucky the night before and didn't give two shits if he was about to fall asleep right then and there. Aiba applauded politely while Sho focused on the road, downing his caffeine in contempt.

Aiba, of course, volunteered to hop out of the van and help Sho haul the trays of food from Shimura's inside. Nino couldn't help thinking again about the unfinished blowjob, especially with Ohno's obvious contentment in the back seat of the van. Becky herself helped bring out some of the trays from the restaurant, sliding a bag of plastic silverware into the front seat under Nino's feet.

"You look half-dead," she said, ruffling Nino's hair affectionately. Each fingernail of hers was painted a different color, and in Nino's woozy state her fingers looked like they had jellybeans stuck to them. 

Becky was just the type of girl Aiba needed - not someone who was going to swoon over him and tell him he was pretty and put up with all of the shit that came from a person knowing they were pretty. Instead, Becky made fun of them all constantly, Aiba especially, packing a whole lot of sass into her small frame - Becky's loud mouth always made up for her short stature. If she knew that Aiba slept with his co-workers from time to time, she didn't seem to be horrified by it. 

"You look awake," was all Nino could think to say in response. Aiba was so easy to get with, and yet as far as Nino knew, he and Becky hadn't even gone out yet, much less fumbled around in a bathroom on the regular. He'd have to ask Aiba about it sometime, bestow his blessing on their potential union.

Becky slammed the door, making Nino grumble and miss his bed all the more. The van loaded up with the first batch of food, they headed along the bayfront road, Nino slipping in and out of consciousness until Sho pulled into the parking lot of their other stop for the morning.

CDD, otherwise Chocolate Disco Desserts, was a bakery operated by three good-looking girls. The Numazu branch office had previously done business with another bakery, but because Oh-chan had prowess even Nino envied, he'd gotten Sho to switch over to CDD a few weeks back. Nino didn't even know the girls' full names because Ohno liked to keep them to himself (though he didn't seem to see Sho as much of a threat, the two of them exiting the van to enter the bakery.)

Ohno wasn't one to brag (he was more of an eyebrow wiggle kind of hint dropper), but he'd somehow drunkenly confessed to Aiba that he and the three little bakers had a thing on the side. Three girls at once, Nino thought with a sigh. That had to wear you out, but it did result in quite the discount on product, and all the customers had seemed rather pleased with the cupcakes and chocolate mousses and fruit tarts CDD had been making.

Even now Aiba was mumbling to himself in the backseat about Ohno being the king of them all and "I wonder if he'd ever share..." and the kind of Aiba nonsense that Aiba never seemed to care about them overhearing.

The van doors opened, and despite his tired appearance, Ohno shoved in a huge tray of rice krispie treats. Nino could see three different colors of lipstick in kiss marks on the guy's face, and Sho looked personally offended as he hauled out a few trays of cake, his cheeks barren of affection. Aiba just laughed, and they were on the road again.

Nino slept most of the way, only waking for brief intervals when Sho hurriedly changed lanes, overhearing Aiba pressing Ohno for details about "Nocchi's legs," obviously one of the bakery girls if Nino had to guess. Man, Nino thought as he drifted back to sleep, he was getting as bad as Sho - no wonder he'd spent hours bullshitting online with a 2ch version of Hattori Hanzo.

The party in Komagane had to be about ten times the size of the Hanemuras, held at what was obviously the second home of some wealthy Tokyo family. There were three other Let's Fiesta vans parked on the gravel, and Nino shook himself awake, adjusting his tie as he got out of the van and helped the others haul the food into the house. 

Sho was fully wired now, his plump little ass almost bouncing as he led the way inside. Nino had to smile at him - Sho always wore his tightest work slacks when they went to wealthy parties. Maybe he was hoping there'd be a wealthy socialite or two looking to pull him out of his sad life in Numazu. 

The kitchen alone was larger than Nino's entire apartment, and he set the trays down with the others the Nagoya teams had brought. Despite Nagoya being a much larger office, Sho had seniority with the company and he disappeared off with the Nagoya team leaders to coordinate the kids' party games, meal service, and guest parking.

That left Nino alone with some of the Nagoya team, mostly a bunch of college students making some money on the side to support their way through school. Not too many people were lifers like Nino and the losers of the Numazu office.

It was half an hour until the guests were due to arrive, so Nino decided it was worth scoping out the premises. Beyond the kitchen was an elegant dining room with crystal chandeliers, though the tables had been pushed against the walls and replaced with fold-away ones that could handle a fleet of children and not worry about getting scratched up. There were several sitting rooms, one of them having been turned into a dense little jungle with miniature slides and swings for the kids. He found Ohno there, putting the finishing touches on some of the jungle foliage with quick-drying green paint.

Beyond that was a room set aside just for gift opening, another play room, and back around to the entryway where a large staircase wound on up to the second floor. It was opulence the likes that Nino saw all too often on these jobs - if you could afford to hire this many catering people for a kids' birthday party, you clearly didn't hurt for cash.

He took the staircase up, almost surprised the occasion hadn't called for their jackets. Standard uniform was the black tie, white shirt, black slacks, but they always wore jackets for weddings - maybe it was casual because of the kids. The upstairs was mostly roped off to keep guests downstairs, but he saw that one of the ropes was dangling loose. Someone was up here, so if they could snoop, Nino could snoop too.

He passed a few bedrooms and a bathroom, finding one of the doors at the end of the hallway slightly ajar. He stood peeking in, spying a person in a Tatsuo the Tortoise costume. His stomach did a flip flop, reminding him of the other day, and damn he did not need to be getting hard in a client's home again, especially since Sho had been so upset about it.

But these things couldn't really be controlled, and Nino couldn't help pushing the door the rest of the way open. How Masaki had gotten roped into the mascot costume again, Nino would never understand. Maybe it was the M part of him that was willing to take one for the team all the time. He crept up on Tatsuo Tortoise, who was looking out the window and watching the teams moving the Let's Fiesta vans to clear the way for the guests.

Nino smiled, deciding to just go right out and do something stupid. He opened his arms wide, screaming "Tatsuo!" noisily as he leapt onto Aiba's back.

But when Tatsuo the Tortoise cried out in an extremely loud _female_ voice, collapsing to the bedroom floor with Nino lying on top of the heavy brown shell, he realized he'd just made a colossal error in judgment. He'd been so excited at the thought of getting the grand finale from the other day that he hadn't noticed that Tatsuo was now half a foot shorter than Aiba was.

"Get the hell off me!" came the voice from inside the tortoise head, the costume arms and legs wiggling in terror as Nino hurriedly scrambled off of her.

"Oh god, oh god," Nino said, as mortified as humanly possible. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, let me help you."

"Don't you touch me," the voice said, struggling to her feet. She popped the tortoise head off, and a pair of bright, furious eyes met his for the very first time. "Back off."

He blinked at the sight of her - as different as Aiba in the Tatsuo Tortoise costume could get. This girl was eyeing him with nothing but contempt, a mess of maroon-colored hair piled up on top of her head in a sloppy bun. She had sweat falling down from her hairline, and Nino had never had someone look at him like that in his life. Like actual murder might be committed.

He took a step back, bumping into one of the bedposts. "I'm sorry. Really. Truly...I thought you were someone else. I'm sorry!"

The tortoise girl stepped forward, flinging the head to the side and staring up at him with a curl of her lips. Where the hell did this girl come from? "Oh, so you just jump on top of people you know?"

"Not usually," he squeaked out, and she was full on snarling at him now. Too bad she wasn't dressed up as a predatory cat. It would have matched better. "I thought you were a guy."

Which was an even worse thing to say because she tried to throw a punch at him for it. Luckily the tortoise belly and shell slowed her down, and she settled for a threatening lunge in his direction.

"Just what the hell is going on?" came yet another new voice. Nino turned around, finding a guy in the Let's Fiesta dress shirt and slacks, but in a seemingly better style and cut than Nino could afford. He smelled like fancy cologne and had the face of a movie star, although his eyebrows were a little too thick and his face a little too wide. Otherwise movie star.

"This idiot almost knocked me out!" the girl protested, stomping her tortoise feet on the carpet.

Nino noticed that the guy was holding a clipboard and had some sort of bluetooth transmitter or something in his ear. Hardcore party planner - even Sho never used the transmitter, on account of having a tiny team.

"Your name?" the guy asked.

"Ninomiya Kazunari, Numazu branch office."

"Well, Ninomiya Kazunari, Numazu branch office, you're assigned to the present room, effectively immediately." The guy touched the thing in his ear. "Sakurai, I'm switching Ninomiya to the present room. Make it happen."

Oh god, now Sho was going to know he'd just severely fucked up. Again. Present room was the absolute worst - he had to stand around and guard the presents, and then when the recipient finally opened them, he had to get wrapping paper flung at his face since they never managed to put it in the bag he was holding out. 

"I can explain," Nino said, holding up his hands. First, Sho Interruptus...now Girl in Tortoise Costume Interruptus. If only Hattori Hanzo and his spear were here to save him...

"I don't need an explanation." He looked past Nino to the tortoise girl. "Riisa-chan, put your head back on and get downstairs. The birthday girl is due in less than four minutes. And I want you to be so cheerful you'll want to barf."

Tortoise girl, Riisa-chan apparently, stomped off to the other side of the bed, retrieving the tortoise head, elbowing past Nino hard to exit the room and get back to work.

"I thought she was somebody else, a friend of mine..."

"I don't want to hear it," the guy said, arching those fancy eyebrows. "Now get downstairs and be a professional. Appetizers go out in forty minutes, and I'll need you in the kitchen for a rundown of the day."

Nino did as he was told, having never been yelled at on the job like this ever before. Sure, drunken wedding guests got kind of surly from time to time, but he'd never been yelled at by a supervisor. And why exactly was this asshole supervising? Wasn't Sho supposed to be in charge of the party?

He went down to the present room as the guests started to arrive, shoving boxes and bags of gifts into Nino's arms as they entered the house. Before even 20 minutes were up, three entire tables were full of gifts, and they were still coming. Someone had even had a bicycle wrapped up in fancy paper, and Nino had to tear at the paper a bit to get the kickstand out so he didn't have to lean it against the wall where it might scratch something.

When he was a kid, he was happy to just get a birthday cake.

Once all the guests had arrived, he headed off to the kitchen, finding Sho near one of the sinks (yes, plural) and clinging to his arm. "Listen, Sho..."

But Sho didn't get a chance to listen as the guy from before, the movie star guy, clapped his hands to get their attention. Nino could feel Sho go ridiculously tense at his side. Everyone was here except Riisa-chan in her tortoise costume who was out entertaining the masses.

"My name is Matsumoto Jun," came the guy's voice, clear if kind of nasal. "And I am the deputy head of the Kanagawa-Shizuoka main office. I'll be serving as coordinator today."

Ah, this guy was Sho's superior. No wonder he was antsy.

"Appetizers, first round. I want extra napkins. I want smiles. And I don't want to catch you sampling anything," Matsumoto said, his big eyes darting around the room to try and catch them off guard. "Because if I do, I have transfer authority, and you could be in Aomori by next week working an old ladies' bingo luncheon, are we clear?"

Nobody said anything. This guy was insane, Nino thought. It was just a birthday party, but you'd think the guy was a battle tactician. 

Matsumoto went on in detail, noting the children of Tokyo VIPs who were in attendance, listing off food allergies for said VIP kids without even having to check his notes. He'd even drawn a diagram on a white board Nino hadn't noticed on the kitchen counter, a scale drawing of the house with each of the team's names designated to one "zone" or another that Matsumoto had created. Nino noticed that he was the only name in the present room, and the little smear on the board next to it implied that Matsumoto had changed it at the last second. Aiba would be tending bar in the parents' zone, and Ohno was outside as part of the two-person grilling team. 

"Let's get started," Matsumoto said, clapping his hands again to disperse them all throughout the house. 

Nino leaned over, trying to find Sho's name on the chart. "Sho-chan, where are you?"

He looked back, seeing Sho's face turning a peculiar shade of purple. "I...I have to go now..." and off he ran in the direction Matsumoto had gone.

Aiba, bottle of vodka in one hand and gin in the other, wrapped an arm around Nino's shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "Looks like Sho-chan has to be that Matsumoto guy's right hand man today. Whole thing's a performance evaluation. I feel bad for him."

Ah, Nino realized. That definitely explained why Sho had been so nervous, why he'd had to close his office door. Today's party was a check on Sho's skills as a team leader. Oh god, Nino thought. And he'd already gotten under Matsumoto's skin and gotten transferred to the present room. 

"Sho-chan..." he murmured as Aiba wandered off to get the bar set up to assist the parents in their alcoholism. "Oh Sho-chan, I'm so sorry..."

He headed off for the present room, bound and determined to not do something stupid enough to get Sho fired. Because if Sho wasn't in charge of the Numazu office, Nino would quit. And then what the hell would he do with his life?

**

Matsumoto ran the party like a well-oiled machine, walking the house with Sho at his heels like a lackey rather than a colleague. The two of them had passed through the present room at least three times, Matsumoto lifting an eyebrow at the bike's kickstand popped out of the wrapping paper.

But Nino did his job admirably, keeping curious kids away and then picking up wrapping paper like a champion when it came time for bratty little Asako-chan to open her bounty of gifts. He had to admit that Matsumoto was exceedingly good at running a party - the parents were nice and liquored up, the kids were full of sugar and letting it out in the designated play areas only. 

Thankfully, his placement in the gift room meant no further encounters with Tatsuo the Tortoise. If he could get through the rest of his life without seeing the girl's bright maroon hair again, he'd be happy. He'd have to nudge Sho later and tell him to avoid taking jobs with the Nagoya offices if he could help it - not like Sho would listen, but it was worth a shot.

The party wound down, and Nino helped Asako-chan's parents get her massive gift haul into the rental truck they'd gotten just for the occasion. Lifting piles and piles of presents failed to help Nino keep his mind off of how disgusting it was. 

He was just heading back to the kitchen to find Sho when he discovered Matsumoto speaking with him in the hallway. Nino stayed around the corner, not wanting to interrupt when Sho needed to make the best impression possible. But then he overheard something he definitely didn't want to hear.

"...and I'll be there at 9:00 sharp tomorrow," Matsumoto was telling Sho, still with that authoritative air even though the party was pretty much over. "I've been looking at your home page, and it needs a complete marketing overhaul."

"Of course, Matsumoto-san," Sho was saying in his grown-up voice. It had been a while since Nino had heard the grown-up voice - this was serious indeed. "I look forward to your guidance."

"Right then," Matsumoto said, his voice lowering slightly. "Well, it's...it's been good to work with you again. See you tomorrow."

"See you then."

Work with you...again? Nino nearly gave himself away on a creaky floorboard, hearing footsteps in the hall coming his way. He started moving, backing out of Matsumoto's way as he came moving past. Again? When had Sho and this guy worked together before? And how the hell didn't Nino know about it? A person with a face like that...surely Sho would have said something. Nino thought he knew everything there was to know about Sho and the people he'd encountered. Sho would go on at length about random people he spotted at the grocery store - how had Matsumoto Jun never come up in conversation before?

He turned the corner, seeing Sho exhale the longest breath ever. Nino wrapped an arm around his waist. "You know him?"

Sho shrugged him off. "Yeah."

"And?"

"And," Sho said, "I'll tell you later, alright? We need to pack up and get out of here."

Even on the long ride back to Numazu, Sho stayed quiet. But Aiba had enough stories about the parents and their drink orders to pass the time as the van wound its way around the mountains and back down toward Numazu and the bay. It wasn't until they'd gotten to the parking lot that Sho said anything.

He put the van in park, staring straight out the windshield glass.

"I have an announcement to make."

Nino and Aiba managed to hold their tongues despite the wide opening Sho had just given them to make jokes. Even Ohno was listening attentively.

"The party leader today from the Kanagawa-Shizuoka office, Matsumoto-san. Well, effective tomorrow he will be in charge of the Numazu branch office. I will remain on staff with you all, and we'll also be getting a new employee. Some of you might have met her during the event today. Naka Riisa-chan, who was in the tortoise costume."

The memory flash of maroon in Nino's mind made his head ache, and Aiba leaned forward to put his hand on Sho's shoulder. "Sho-chan, you got demoted?"

"Not...exactly. It's just...our numbers are down, and Matsumoto-san thinks it might be a staffing issue. That's why our team is being bumped from four to six under his guidance. It's supposed to be temporary," Sho explained, looking like he'd had his heart ripped from his chest. Which was pretty accurate, Nino knew. If there was anything that could crush Sho's spirits it was being told that he wasn't exceeding expectations.

"But this Matsumoto-san is our boss now?" Ohno murmured, probably petrified at the thought of Matsumoto changing bakeries and depriving him of naked flour fights with his three newest friends.

"Again," Sho said, "it's a temporary measure. But just do me a favor and work hard, okay? If we don't shape up, there's a strong possibility of a complete overhaul, reassignments..."

Aiba squeezed Sho's shoulder. "We won't let that happen, Sho-chan. You can count on us."

And with that he and Ohno both leapt out of the back of the van, picking up all the trays and moving them to Aiba's car, more motivated than Nino had ever seen them. This eventually left Sho and Nino in the van alone, Sho looking miserable.

"So..." Nino said, unsure of what to really say. He was still reeling from the one-two punch of Matsumoto Jun as his boss and that psychotic tortoise girl as a co-worker.

"We met in management training," Sho said, and Nino inferred that Sho meant Matsumoto. "Just after I finished school, you remember." Nino remembered that Sho had gone to Osaka for it for a really long six weeks, and Nino had been bored and unemployed back in Tokyo. "Well, yeah, so he was..."

"Spit it out, Sakurai."

Sho blushed, his eyes dropping to the steering wheel. "He liked me. Really liked me. And I liked him. Instant attraction, you know. Like in a movie or something."

Oh no, Nino thought. This was bad.

"But yeah, we were in training and ambitious and all that, so when he came on to me I turned him down." Nino was pretty sure that Sho had never rejected anyone before - people usually went ahead and rejected him first. This was big news. "And then we finished up training, I got assigned here, he was sent to Hiroshima and I thought I'd never see him again."

"But now he's a psychopath with an ear thing and a clipboard."

Sho chuckled. "Yeah. He moved up very quickly in the company. Being a deputy head of a regional office is nothing to scoff at."

"Well, compared to a rocket scientist or a doctor or..."

"Nino..."

"Right, right," he grumbled. "So you never told me about this guy because...?"

Sho shrugged. "I honestly just tried to put it out of my mind, you know? I felt like an asshole turning him down. He's...well, you saw him..."

Nino had to laugh at that, at the thought of Sho so desperately in lust and never saying a word. No wonder he'd buried himself in work and in lengthy discussions of 18th century economics. He'd turned down his perfect match, and what did he have to show for it now?

"But now he's back, and he's your boss."

"Yes."

"And you still...?"

"No," Sho said a little too quickly. "No, it's not like that at all. I haven't seen this guy in almost seven years. That's impossible."

Then Nino was reminded of how Sho had trailed Matsumoto around the party like a puppy, and it was all too obvious that seven years may as well have been seven hours. But now Matsumoto was top banana in the company with his white board diagrams and impeccable knowledge of children's food allergies. How the tables had turned.

"We'll get through this," Nino reassured Sho. "It's just temporary, right?"

"Right."

**

Nino was beyond irritated when he got home. It had been a day full of bombshells. Nino's new boss was some long lost love of his best friend - was Sho going to spend the next few weeks embarrassing himself? Nino couldn't bear to watch it. Sho was a good guy, deserving of someone just as weird as he was. And from his first impression of Matsumoto Jun, he wasn't sure the guy was the right kind of weird.

He logged on to Jidai Fusion Paradise, and even if his work life had been turned upside down that day, at least he still had the wacky Hattori Hanzo in his life.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
camping outside of kyoto. aint nobody gonna mess with my shit. but how am i gonna get into the inner part of the palace? its like a ladies only zone there

User:murasaki_shikibu  
Sequestered though I am, the thought of Master Hattori's arrival has taken me out from behind the curtains. In short stolen moments each day, I am allowed out of my chamber, accompanying my lady's retinue. I never stray very far - but the peaceful surroundings of the inner palace gardens grant me fresh air. The summer breeze is cool on my face, reminding me of days gone by.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
so i heard from my contacts in the palace that the empress and her lady friends wander around every day after lunch. ima use that to my advantage. and then the road trip can begin.

And over the course of the evening, Hattori Hanzo impossibly bribed guards left and right, and Murasaki impossibly allowed herself to be whisked away. It was long after midnight when the two of them had finally escaped the bounds of Kyoto for adventures great and small.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
It is an honor and privilege to meet a man of your caliber and dignity, Master Hattori. What a wondrous exodus it was, with all of those guards chasing us. A better adventure I could not have even pictured for the sake of literature!

User:hattori_hanzo2  
yo its fine, murasaki baby. i like challenges and getting in n out of the palace was tons of fun. havent had that kind of challenge since my earliest days as a sweet ninja in training

It was pretty unclear to Nino what their next steps were. He hadn't even expected things to carry on so quickly. Scrolling back through their post, the two of them had already posted over 200 messages to one another. He smiled, glad for at least something interesting in his life. He logged off, wondering if someone would come and get him the hell out of Numazu.

**

He got to work a few minutes before 9:00, and Matsumoto was already there, Sho too. Their office consisted of their main room with a few tables, boxes of printed-up fliers, and then Sho's small office with all of the duplicates of their client files that lived inside Sho's computer.

When Nino came in, he could already see Matsumoto and Sho rearranging the tables, dragging Sho's computer out of the office to plug it in to an outlet in the main room. He nodded to Matsumoto in greeting.

"Good morning," Matsumoto said, gesturing to a box of fliers in the corner. "Get those for me, would you?"

Nino set down his bag, pulling the box over and opening it up. Matsumoto looked at them and sneered.

"Is that _clip art_ on there?"

Sho flushed. "We don't really have much of a budget for graphic design here."

"I can see that," Matsumoto said, picking up one of the fliers, balling it up, and tossing it over his shoulder. Miraculously, it landed right in the recycle bin behind him. Nino would have swooned himself if Sho wasn't already standing there, jaw dropped.

By then Aiba and Ohno were walking in, quieter than usual as they watched Matsumoto dig through the box of fliers. "How many of these things did you print?"

"25,000," Nino chimed in. "We got a discount at the printers." A discount because Toma at the shop had worked with them at Let's Fiesta a few years back, and Nino wasn't above sleeping with someone to save money. Especially a friend if it sealed the deal.

"25,000?" Matsumoto asked incredulously. "But these are terrible! It's a wonder you get business at all."

At that, Sho visibly shrank, and Nino wanted to defend the fliers and the amount of business they did, but it wasn't his place, and the last thing he needed to do was become a pain in Matsumoto's ass. He just met Sho's gaze sympathetically. This was all about saving Sho's job, not about anything else.

The other new member of the team walked in, and all eyes in the room went to her. She was quite different out of her tortoise costume, and not just because she was much skinnier. Her hair was still that impossible color, and her clothes were equally odd. She had on a zebra-patterned hoodie, a pink tank top, black shorts, and pink tights. Her sneakers appeared to have been scribbled on in marker by Riisa-chan herself.

But if Matsumoto had any qualms about Riisa-chan's appearance, he didn't voice them. Instead he opted to yell at her for something else. "Your first day, and you're late."

She rolled her eyes, looking around the office with disdain. "I got lost."

"What's the first rule of this job?" Matsumoto asked, looking ready to fling a handful of crappy fliers at her. 

"Check your attitude at the door," she spat at him, then met Nino's gaze. "Believe me, I tried."

"Alright," Matsumoto said, clapping his hands like he was still at a fancy party. "Sakurai-san says you have a small wedding reception tomorrow. And the teamwork I'm seeing right now is not going to fly. You, Ohno," he said, pointing at him. "You and Aiba need to go to the venue and all the caterers, double check and confirm everything."

"We confirmed last week," Ohno said.

"Check it again. I want pictures of everything in that banquet hall." Matsumoto was booting up Sho's computer and his iPad simultaneously, looking appalled at the ancient machine Sho had been working on for so long.

"But why?" Aiba asked.

Matsumoto gave them no reply, turning his eyes to Sho and tossing him some keys. "Red Toyota in the lot, there's a few coding books in the trunk. We're redoing this mess of a website."

And off Sho ran, Aiba and Ohno on their way out in confusion. Matsumoto looked from him to Riisa and from Riisa back to him. "Creepy. You guys have the same nose."

"Huh?" Nino and Riisa asked in unison.

Matsumoto ignored them, gesturing to the boxes. "Fliers. All of them. You two get them in the van and take them to the city recycling plant. We're starting over."

"But that's 25,000 fliers!" Nino protested.

"25,000 _shitty_ fliers," Matsumoto said. "Get rid of them."

"We can't just leave them to get picked up?" Nino pushed him.

Matsumoto shook his head. "I want a fresh start here."

Riisa sighed, moving around Nino to go get the first box while Nino went to grab the van keys from the bowl near the door. Nino had so many things he wanted to say to this Matsumoto. The fliers weren't really that bad. They catered parties for a living, why did they need fancy ass fliers? And Sho wasn't a servant Matsumoto could just send to the car - he'd been in charge around here until yesterday, and surely he was deserving of some measure of respect. And then of course he wanted to tell Matsumoto that him and tortoise girl working together was a bad idea.

But instead, Nino shoved his anger down, grabbing a box of his own and following Riisa out the door. They loaded box after box into the van in silence, then got inside with Nino at the wheel. He turned to look at her, cocking his head a little.

She turned, giving him an irritated look. "Am I a zoo exhibit?"

He then turned and angled the rearview mirror at himself. "Do we really have the same nose?"

She sighed noisily. "Just turn the van on already, you creep."

Nino grinned at that, doing as she ordered and taking the van out of the lot. "For the record, I'm not a creep."

"I'll be the judge of that," she said, her voice softening a bit. Sure, she was prickly, as anyone who'd been leapt on in a tortoise costume had any right to be. Nino decided that for Sho's sake, he'd try to get along with this weird girl.

"So where are you from?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

She stared out the window as Numazu flew by. "Nagasaki. But I was working in Yokohama with Jun-kun until...well, until today."

Jun- _kun_ , huh. So he wasn't just a robot, Nino decided. "And how did you get into the exciting world of party catering?"

She twirled a strand of that colorful hair around her finger, shrugging her shoulders. "It's as good a job as any, I guess."

"Is it?" She scowled at him. "Okay, maybe it's different depending on the person. And were you asked to transfer here or did you volunteer?"

"Starts with 'none'," she said, looking out the window, "and ends with 'of your business'."

Ouch, she was really holding the unintended molestation against him. "Look, Naka-san, I think we just got off on the wrong foot here. I know Numazu's not the most glamorous assignment, but our group works together well. And I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, I really am."

"Jun-kun expects perfection," she informed him. "I've been working for him for two years, and you better get used to it."

"But Sho-chan said it was only temporary..."

Riisa shut her mouth, looking back out the window as though she'd said something she shouldn't have. Nino stopped the van at a red light, panic starting to kick in.

"Do you know something Sho-chan doesn't?"

"I...I don't..."

They sat in an awkward silence until the light turned green, and Nino shoved down the accelerator. "Look, I don't care what you think about me, but Sho-chan is my best friend. He does the best he can running this branch, and if the whole point of Matsumoto-san being here is to take it away from him, I want to know."

"I only know what I overheard," she admitted. "And it's not much. But this branch is in serious trouble. Between Nagoya and Kanagawa-Shizuoka, upper management doesn't think Numazu is necessary."

"And Sho just thinks it's a staffing problem..."

She met his eyes honestly. "I really don't know, okay? But I do know Jun-kun, and he doesn't accept failure. If you guys work hard and impress him, he'll work hard to prove your worth to management. He's not a bad guy."

Nino took it all in, knowing that even now Sho was sitting back in the office at Matsumoto's side going over the website as if that was all that needed to change to make things right again. If management shut down the Numazu office, what would they do? Would they get shuffled around? He'd worked with Aiba, Ohno, and Sho for so long now that the thought of them being separated made him almost sick. Or even worse, would they get fired?

The van was quiet for a while as they continued on their way to the recycling plant. "Let's work well together then, okay, Naka-san?"

She nodded. "So long as you stay off my back, I think we'll be just fine."

He snorted at that, sneaking a peek at her out of the corner of his eye. Their noses did look kind of similar.


	3. Chapter 3

The wedding the following day was a much calmer affair than the birthday party they'd just completed, but that didn't stop Matsumoto Jun from running the event like a drill sergeant. He'd gotten on Aiba's back about his cocktail making, insisting Aiba switch to bottom shelf liquor once the guests started getting drunk.

Ohno, Nino, Riisa, and Sho were on serving duty, and Jun was exacting about their manners in setting down plates and clearing them away. Jun even used a stopwatch, making sure they brought out the meals with precision. It was clearly weighing on Sho's mind, his tray quivering a bit as he made the rounds with the rest of them.

Despite their seeming truce in the van from yesterday, Riisa had been in a bad mood since they'd arrived at the banquet hall. While she wasn't overtly rude and she smiled sweetly for the guests, whenever she wasn't out on the floor she had a sour look on her face. Which was a shame because now Nino was kind of obsessed with her face. Maybe at this angle they had the same nose. Or maybe this one. He didn't know for sure, but he wished Jun had never said anything. Was this what he looked like when he was in a bad mood too?

They brought out the slices of cake, a chocolate with a strawberry glaze from Chocolate Disco Desserts that had thankfully passed Jun's evaluation. Even now Ohno was walking around on cloud nine, setting down plates with a huge smile. They finished distributing the cake, which gave them a break, and Nino headed for the kitchen, seeing Riisa just disappearing out the rear door.

Sho was busy dumping plates into the sink for the assisting banquet hall staff to attend to, and Nino found himself heading outside onto the fire escape after the newest member of the team. The banquet hall was a block from the beach, the fifth floor accommodations affording a fine view of the bay. The sun was setting behind them, and the deep red of Riisa's hair shone in the light of the pinkening sky.

She was leaning against the railing looking angry at the world, and Nino stood beside her. He pulled his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, holding them out to her. She shook her head. "I quit."

Nino settled the pack back where it had been. "Alright then."

She squinted out at the water. "It's kind of pretty down here."

"It can be. If you're into the ocean."

"You're not?"

He shook his head. "I can take it or leave it really."

She sighed, turning her neck from side to side and releasing some tension. "So you're an indoor type then?"

"As much as humanly possible."

"Me too," she admitted. "How long until clean-up?"

Nino checked his watch. "In human time, ten minutes. In Matsumoto Jun time, eight minutes, thirty seconds."

She smirked at that. "You catch on fast, Ninomiya-san."

"Call me Nino, if you want." He turned around, leaning his back against the rail. "Not a fan of weddings?"

She bristled a bit at that. "I'm going to help Sho-san," she said quietly, moving past him to go back inside. So much for making any progress with the newbie.

He passed the rest of the reception in a daze. Drunken guests drifted around the room and the dance floor as the DJ finally shut his music down, Ohno and Riisa helping people get to cabs. It was hard not to notice that the spark was back between Sho and Jun, even though Nino hadn't been around to witness it the first time. Every time Jun walked the perimeter of the hall, Sho's eyes seemed to follow him, the sad desperate eyes of someone who hadn't known what he'd had until he'd lost it. In fact, Nino didn't think Sho had been this sad since the person roleplaying Tokugawa Ienobu had left Jidai Fusion.

But Sho was Sho and he had his rules. People like him and Jun, devoted as they were to protocol and the Let's Fiesta employee guidebook, wouldn't give in, would they? And Sho wasn't dumb enough to jeopardize his already precarious position, even if he wasn't fully aware just how precarious it was. Besides, even though Sho obviously had eyes for his new boss, Jun only seemed to have eyes for his job...

Until the evening was over and the banquet hall was nearly empty - and that was when Nino saw it. 

Sho was escorting the bride's parents to the door, using his most winning smile. The smile that could probably get him in anyone's pants if he ever ripped himself away from his online roleplaying long enough to use it. And Matsumoto Jun, using his iPad as a pretend means of distraction, was totally checking him out. Even the cyborg party planner wasn't immune to the power of the Sakurai smile...and the Sakurai ass in tight slacks. Sho had said that Jun was the one doing the pursuing back in the day, after all.

Nino grinned. He wondered if Sho was going to end up cutting off his own circulation if he worked enough events with Jun in slacks like that. He was torn about what to do - did he have to keep them apart so Sho's professional demeanor would remain unblemished? Or did he push Sho into his boss' stopwatch-carrying hands? Was Sho's professional or personal happiness more important in the long run?

He smelled a liquor store coming his way, soon finding Aiba's arm around his shoulder. There'd be no more time to dwell on the tricky developments between his favorite boss and his new boss. Aiba was warm, as though he'd been out on the dance floor instead of behind the bar for the last several hours. He was all hands, taking Nino's in his own and dragging him to the empty coat room. It was still summer and none of the guests had needed use of the room.

"You really love weddings, huh?" Nino asked him as soon as Aiba closed the door behind him, thankfully twisting the lock this time to avoid a repeat performance.

"Nino," he said, his scratchy voice the only proof of his existence in the darkness.

"There a light switch in here?"

"Nino," Aiba said with more authority.

"Yes?"

"I really love weddings."

"Idiot," Nino said with a laugh, smacking at him in the darkness. He was really glad Aiba liked weddings. Well, not so much weddings as wedding receptions. To Nino, it was just an overblown celebration of something that was likely to end in a divorce down the road. But to Aiba, weddings were full of dancing and smiles and good feelings. And thus Aiba needed an outlet for his good feelings once things died down or he'd surely burst.

He'd been worried that Aiba had forgotten him, but that was far from the case. They stumbled in the dark, and Nino ended up on his back, pants unzipped and Aiba's mouth back where Nino had needed it for the past several stressful days. It didn't take much for him to come, warning Aiba with a hand to the top of his friend's head.

It was like all the tension in him slipped away and Aiba curled up next to him, chuckling in the dark. "You have no idea how badly I needed that," Nino told him.

Aiba sighed. "Looked like it. It sucks what's going on with Sho-chan. I'm worried about him."

"He's a big boy," Nino said. He didn't need Aiba worrying about what was really going on. "It'll all work out somehow."

He eventually heard the sound of a zipper and some rustling fabric, Aiba taking care of his own needs. Nino would help, but he was too relaxed to be of much use. But Aiba didn't seem to mind, humming some of the bad 80's music the DJ had played to wind down the night.

"Need me to talk you off?" Nino offered.

"You can just talk about anything," Aiba said, his voice low and sexy in a way that definitely didn't match his cheerful face. Aiba was even hotter in the dark, if that was even possible.

"Anything? Like the stock market?"

"Nino, you don't know anything about the stock market." And even still, the sound of Aiba's stroking was growing more aggressive.

Most people would probably be weirded out by a masturbating co-worker lying beside them in a dark cloak room, but Nino would never be most people. He turned onto his side, resting on his elbow and clumsily using the fingers of his left hand to pop open the buttons of Aiba's shirt.

"So when are you going to do something about Becky?" Aiba let out a quiet little grunt at the mention of the restaurant girl's name. "Well? She totally wants you."

"I like her, too..."

"What are you waiting for then?" Nino had the top of Aiba's shirt open, teasing his fingers inside to give one of Aiba's nipples a twist.

"I...I..."

"Masaki," Nino teased him, twisting Aiba's other nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"She...deserves...better," Aiba said, in between little jolts of surprise at the movements of Nino's fingers along his chest. Oh Aiba, Nino thought. Aiba was damn good at his job, mixing drinks and entertaining guests. And he wasn't exactly hurting for money. When he wasn't on a Let's Fiesta job he pulled bartending shifts at a club in Mishima. Just because he wasn't a lawyer or something...

"She's crazy about you, though. And she doesn't strike me as the type to judge you based on your profession. You both like the same things. Dogs. Music. Being outside..."

"I'll think about it..."

Nino took his hand out of Aiba's shirt, sliding his fingers up his neck, tickling along his jaw. "How badly do you want her, huh?"

"Pretty damn bad..."

"How bad?"

"So bad...oh god, stop...wait, I don't have anything to..." Nino dug around in his pocket for a handkerchief, slapping it down on Aiba's stomach. "Thanks. Okay. Okay. Now you can keep talking."

Nino lowered his voice, leaning closer to whisper in Aiba's ear. "Let's see, what's sexy about Becky?"

"Her eyes..."

"Yeah, she's got some pretty eyes. So shut yours and think of them, Masaki. Think of her eyes, how big and bright they'll be the first time you go down on her..."

"Oh god..."

Nino smiled. Aiba was the absolute worst when it came to talking someone off, but Nino liked to think he knew a few good things to say from time to time. And even if it felt pretty naughty talking this way about Becky, who he did genuinely like and respect as a person, Aiba had only minutes earlier given him a fantastic blowjob and it was only fair to help him out in return. 

"She's got that long hair," he continued, ruffling Aiba's hair in reply. "That long hair and those pretty eyes. I wonder what she tastes like..."

"Nino..."

"Shouldn't you be saying 'Becky'?" Aiba was close, Nino could just tell because the murmured "Nino" whispers gradually became "Ni...becky" and then "Becky" and then just incomprehensible babble.

"Oh Masaki, just imagine those big, pretty eyes looking up at you when she's got you between her lips..."

And that was all it took, Nino's voice and Aiba's post-wedding enthusiasm more than enough to send him off, his friend's ragged breathing having gotten Nino half-hard again in response. But surely the staff of the banquet hall would be locking up for the night and they needed to get the hell out of there.

He zipped his pants, listening to Aiba's breathy giggles of joy on the floor as he stumbled to his feet. "Your handkerchief," Aiba said, sighing in contentment, and Nino gave him a little kick where he figured Aiba's ribs were.

"You can keep that one. Buy me another."

They got up, just in time for a staff member of the banquet hall to come walking by. "Oh," the young woman said, "you're still here."

Aiba gave a sheepish smile, and let the woman escort them out. 

**

The next few weeks passed in relative peace and quiet, all things considered. Jun seemed to settle in and settle down at the Let's Fiesta Numazu branch. While his perfectionism didn't really decrease, his demeanor did. He softened a bit at the edges, actually complimenting some of the work they did from time to time and ending each party with a "you all did great work today" remark that always managed to turn Sho's face red as a tomato.

Speaking of Sho, it was probably obvious to everyone now just how badly he wanted in Matsumoto's pants. Even during office hours when there was little to do, Sho sat at the computer, working on new designs for fliers, asking Jun to offer input on almost everything. They'd had an hour-long conversation the other day about punctuation alone. The two of them seemed to want each other fairly equally, Nino could tell. Because what else could change a guy's entire attitude as much as love? Well, Nino decided, not quite love because it had only been a few weeks, but lust at least. Maybe since Matsumoto knew his leadership would be the make or break for the fate of Sho's branch office, he wanted to keep everyone happy.

Ohno continued on his romantic baking journey with his three lady friends, sometimes showing up for work with flour or dried whipped cream in his messy hair. What a life. And Aiba had finally gathered up his courage and asked Becky out - a date was in the works as soon as they both found the same night off.

The maroon hair dye had been washed out, leaving a fairly normal dark brown in its place, but Riisa was still the girl with the same...nose. She still dressed in a bizarre way during office hours, punk rocker lite if Nino had to put a name to it, in sharp contrast to the Let's Fiesta uniform requirements expected during jobs. Nino had to give it to her - she sure could do a complete 180 in appearance from one day to the next, and that took real skills.

But her earlier bark was mellowing out the same as Jun's, although in a different way. Riisa seemed quieter, putting all her energy into being "on" during parties that she almost seemed depressed during office hours or clean-up after events. Nino remembered the way she'd stood on the fire escape at the wedding, looking out at the water, and he wondered what circumstances had brought her to Numazu and how he could make it right.

Because while Nino didn't like to meddle in the lives of people he didn't know, once he did get to know them he found it impossible not to take an interest in them. So for all his overt disdain for humanity, he maintained a soft spot for people who at least inhabited his personal orbit. It was just his way, which explained why Aiba had finally gone ahead and asked out the lady of his dreams. It explained why he sat at dinner with Sho some evenings now and listened to him praise all the changes Matsumoto Jun had brought to the branch office. It explained the personal brownie orders he placed at Chocolate Disco Desserts to keep the girls there busy, and thus keep Ohno happy in his personal life.

But Riisa had only been in Nino's personal orbit for a few weeks, not really long enough to figure her out entirely yet. People like Aiba and Sho were so obvious in their feelings and thoughts - Nino had only spent two nights in the dorm with Sho before realizing the guy was going to be an important part of his life. Some people were just easy. But then there was Riisa, tortoise girl, with her rainbow knee socks and her fire engine red lipstick. She was going to be tough to crack.

Had she been dumped? Was she unfulfilled in her career choice? Bad family life back home? She never talked about herself beyond a few little hints. She obviously was into clothes, carrying fashion magazines around and reading them during breaks at parties. She loved horror movies, since he'd overheard her and Ohno having a conversation about them at the office. She was an animal lover, since she'd recently started wearing a "Numazu City Animal Shelter" t-shirt underneath her zebra hoodie and tried hitting Jun up for donations.

He wished it was as easy to get to know tortoise girl as it was to get to know user:hattori_hanzo2. For all that the days at the office were calmer, the adventures of Hattori Hanzo and Murasaki Shikibu had grown wilder and more exciting. A time machine had crashed in the center of Hiratsuka, and off Hattori and Murasaki had gone, defeating armies of ninjas and ronin alike as they made their way up the Tokaido Road from Kyoto. It would probably take only another day or two of playing back and forth to steal the time machine and head off to parts unknown.

Hattori's player's odd way of typing had not grown old yet, and Nino looked forward to getting home every night and seeing where Hattori's wild imagination would take them next. Murasaki herself had developed some talents as required by Hattori's behavior - a stray arrow that had gotten lodged in Hattori's shoulder had required the woman to gain some skills as a medic. And Hattori wasn't just a silly warrior - though his replies were full of chatspeak and slang, his seeming respect for Murasaki was obvious. That their roleplay had yet to devolve into a sexual encounter was what kept surprising him the most.Their exchanges were silly and fun, not bogged down in drama or the painstaking attention to detail that one of Sho's posts would have required. 

It allowed him to forget, if only for a little while each night, that there was still the possibility of Sho losing his job and how that might just ruin Nino's life. 

**

It reached a month and a half under Jun's leadership when Sho finally broke down one night, calling Nino up drunk after midnight.

Murasaki and Hattori were a mere ten miles from Hiratsuka and had just been ambushed by a family of bears, and he felt bad shutting his laptop at the most critical moment. But his real life had to take precedence over his virtual life.

Sho was a mess, and in the years Nino had known him, Sho rarely got like this. Something serious had happened. Or, as Nino listened to Sho's story, something serious had _not_ happened.

"You were absolutely right," Sho slurred, speaking far too noisily into his cell phone across town. Nino had to hold his own phone away from his ear. "You were right, Nino."

"I usually am," he said in reply, trying to lighten the mood even if it was unlikely to work.

"I went to dinner with Jun tonight," Sho said, the first time Nino had heard him refer to Jun as anything but Matsumoto-san or Matsumoto-kun.

"Oh? A date? And you didn't tell me?"

"Wasn't a date," Sho protested. "Spent threeeeeeee hours talking about next year's rollout of greener vans for Let's Fiesta. Hybrids for every office. Save the earth, you know."

Normally that was the kind of topic that could keep Sho's attention for twice as many hours. So what had changed? "Sounds like a step in the right direction for the planet," Nino said. "Hey, we could make the parties more green by having them in the dark. What do you say?"

"I was this close to telling Jun I liked him," Sho sobbed. "We had coffee and dessert and then I was going to pick up the check and say 'this one's on me, baby' and I couldn't do it! I just couldn't do it!"

Nino blinked. "That was the line you were going to use? 'This one's on me, baby'?"

"Ninoooooo..." Sho howled in despair.

"Alright, alright, calm down, where are you?"

"Home."

"Alone?"

"I'm always alone! Nino, I'm always alone!"

Nino suspected that Sho did in fact have company, but it was most likely a bottle of liquor that was going to disagree with him before too long. They had a wedding the following day, and he couldn't let anything bad happen to Sho. Not when showing up hungover might mean the end of the Numazu branch office for good.

"Do me a favor, Sho-chan. Can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah."

"Whatever you're drinking? Stop."

"But..."

"Think of what Jun-kun would say if he saw you right now. Is your face red? Are you lying on the floor in your underwear?"

"...I'll stop..."

He hung up with Sho, grabbing his keys and turning off his apartment lights. He slid his sneakers on in the entryway, taking one last look back at his laptop and opened the door to head out into the night.

While Nino's building was one of several in a block of non-descript concrete abominations, Sho wasn't afraid to shell out a little more. He lived in a newer building only a few blocks from where the river met the bay, and the drive was much quicker at night. He parked and headed inside. Sho was luckily still coherent enough to buzz him in, and he took the elevator up to find his friend curled up in a ball in the middle of his living room.

Nino ignored him, heading for the kitchen first where he found a nearly empty bottle of umeshu - thankfully the cap had been twisted back on, and Sho had at least obeyed him on that count. 

Sho looked miserable, his hair messy and still dressed in the blazer, dress shirt, and slacks he'd worn to dinner with Jun. The clothes were now rumpled and smelled like cigarettes. He sat down on the floor beside his friend, ruffling Sho's hair with affection. "So you like him, you admit it?"

"I do," Sho moaned, sounding less hysterical than he had on the phone.

"And you wanted to take tonight's dinner, a business dinner, and confess to him like a kid in junior high school."

"You make me sound incompetent," Sho said with a sigh.

"Sho-chan, you aren't incompetent, you're just..." _Really_ incompetent, Nino wanted to say, but didn't dare.

Sho rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with glassy eyes. "I just have no luck at all. He's my superior, Nino. But how am I supposed to work for him when I want to...you know..."

"Bend him over and show him how to really plan a party?"

Sho was still a little too drunk to smack him for his lame innuendo, shaking his head. "We work so well together, don't you think so? I admire him so much as a colleague. I've been in charge here forever, but now that Jun's here things are so efficient and thorough and...stuff."

"So you think that would change if the two of you started fucking?"

"Ugh, Nino..."

"What? That's the heart of the matter here," he said. "You like him, and if you spent five seconds paying attention, you'd notice that Jun's got the hots for you too. He really does. I'm smart about these things, trust me."

Sho smiled. "When he's working a party and I hear him giving orders...it's like I'd do anything he says..."

"Okay, we're veering off topic," Nino said, not really wanting to go into this much detail about Sho's attraction to their boss.

"And when he gets all short with me and puts his hands on his hips and says 'Sakurai, this cake isn't going to plate itself'..."

Nino gave him a little tap on the cheek. "I get the picture."

Sho sat up, swaying a bit. "So what am I supposed to do? If I leave things the way they are, I'm going to get sloppy in my work. I'll spend party after party thinking about Jun and not about the job. I have a tendency to get preoccupied with things, you know."

Nino saw the stack of Tokugawa-era financial history tomes next to Sho's computer and smirked. "No, really? You don't say."

"But what if I do confess to him? It would be a violation of the rules for us to be together. I'm not a rule breaker. I'm not even a rule bender! And neither is he! He could write me up for that, and I could lose my job. Or what if I confess and he's all for it and management finds out and we both get fired?"

"Sho-chan, who is going to tell management on you? We're all on your side! Aiba-chan, Oh-chan...we want you to be happy, okay? I'm sure even Riisa-chan knows what's going on here."

Sho was quiet for a few moments, putting his hands on the table to steady himself. He looked ready to be sick for a moment, and Nino was just about to back away when Sho took a deep breath instead, looking far more serious.

"I've let seven years go by. People don't get second chances too often. So maybe I should just do something about it."

"Okay, great," Nino said. "Like what?"

"Gather my courage!"

Nino cocked his head. "Huh?"

Sho got to his feet, swaying, and Nino had to get up and put an arm around his waist, steadying him. He helped Sho move out of the living room and towards his bedroom. "Gather my courage. I need to have all the facts. I need to know how to talk to Jun before I can do anything about this. I need to know everything Jun likes. I can't let him down, not like I did in Osaka."

"And how do you propose to do this? You see him pretty much every day, so if you don't know him enough yet, that's saying something..."

Sho flopped down onto his mattress, the look on his face suggesting he wished there was a stack of Matsumoto Jun books he could use as a reference guide. "Nino, will you be Jun?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Sho looked up at him pleadingly. "Be Jun for me. Right now. Talk to me like he does. Be Jun, and then I can work through what I have to say. Like a rehearsal!"

Nino stared at him. "You're being absolutely serious right now, aren't you?"

Sho nodded, patting a spot on the mattress beside him. "Please?"

His best friend rarely asked him for anything. Sho was more likely to do anything Nino asked him to do, whether it was fixing a leaky faucet or driving to the store to get him medicine when he was sick. Sho was selfless where Nino was concerned, and he really did owe him everything. Where would he be without Sakurai Sho to look out for him?

But roleplaying was something Nino preferred to keep in writing on an Internet forum. And besides, the last person he'd ever want to be was Matsumoto Jun. He could never take himself seriously enough to pull it off. But then Sho's eyes were begging him, and he remembered his friend's sad voice on the phone, and he had to do something.

Nino was fairly certain that if Sho walked up to him and thrust his hands in his pants, Jun would be all for it. Jun just didn't know it because it was very unlikely to happen. Nobody was going to tell on them, and if anything, the two of them were so stiff and awkward that the obvious solution was to just get it on already. Maybe they'd both relax, and it was unlikely to hurt their work ethic. If they just got over the "will they or won't they" hurdle, things would even out. And if they ended up sucking each other off in a client's bathroom during a party, it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary at the Numazu branch office.

Come what may, Sho's personal happiness was easily more important than his professional happiness, and Nino had been a fool to think otherwise.

Nino shut his eyes, sitting down at Sho's side on the bed. Be Jun. Be Jun. Be Jun. Do this for Sho-chan, he told himself. For Sho-chan, who'd do anything for you.

"Sakurai-san," he said, his voice ringing out loud and clear in Sho's empty bedroom.

He felt Sho shift uncomfortably beside him in his still rumpled clothes. "Matsumoto-san..."

What would Jun talk to Sho about? "I found an error on the website. You used the incorrect kanji. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Sho closed his eyes, fingers fisting in his bedsheets as he tried to listen as best he could to "Jun" speaking in Nino's own voice. "I apologize, Matsumoto-san, for neglecting to have another set of eyes proofread the page. I'll go about the corrections immediately."

Nino tried not to laugh. This was already too accurate. "Don't bother. Have Ninomiya do it. Learn to delegate, Sakurai-san."

"Yes, of course." Sho licked his lips. "Matsumoto-san, could I have a word with you in private?"

Nino crossed his arms, trying to contort his face into a look of Matsumoto-esque irritation. "We have a wedding tomorrow. There's more important things to attend to."

"But Matsumoto-san..."

"I don't have time for this, Sakurai. Have you triple-checked the appetizer order yet?"

Sho's eyes opened wide, and he sat up. Nino smelled the alcohol on his breath. "Matsumoto-san, this is more important than triple-checking the appetizer order."

It sent goosebumps up Nino's arms. It was probably the lateness of the hour, not the way Sho's voice could sound when he got serious. Not that at all. He cleared his throat, rolling his eyes. "Fine. You have five minutes, Sakurai. And make it quick. Petty personal troubles are not what Let's Fiesta Japan is all about."

Nino was just picturing a scene like this happening in the office. It would be impossible, of course. There was no way the two of them could have a conversation like this without Aiba jumping in with a joke or Ohno sneezing and breaking the tension, but Nino could already see a change in Sho. Maybe he really was gathering courage from a strange exercise like this.

And he found that unlike himself, speaking in an approximation of Matsumoto Jun's voice made him feel more confident, more sure of himself than he'd ever been. For so long all of his roleplaying had been Murasaki Shikibu reacting to her environment - but maybe Nino had been born to play someone active like Hattori Hanzo all along...

"Matsumoto-san, I respect you as a colleague, and I hope as a friend..."

Sho was looking at Nino now, with longing in his eyes that was adding to the goosebumps raising the hairs on his arms. Sho had never looked at him like this before. Sho had rules. Sho was his friend. And now this was starting to get weird.

"Sure," he said in a flippant Matsumoto tone. "We're friends, if you want."

"And it's out of my friendship and respect for you that I've come to..." Sho's hands were on either side of Nino's thighs. "That I've come to..."

He narrowed his eyes at Sho even as his body was screaming for him to end this. Even as he was staring at Sho's lips, at his dark eyes. Nino would be lying if he said he didn't have some attraction to his friend, but since Sho had drawn the line so long ago, Nino had too. 

But Sho wasn't looking at Nino. Sho was looking at _Matsumoto Jun_ right now. And Matsumoto Jun was a man who knew what he wanted. "Well," Nino said. "Come out with it then."

"I like you, Matsumoto-san. A lot."

"That wasn't what you said back in Osaka."

Sho shook his head. "I was wrong. Jun, I was wrong."

Nino knew the logical conclusion to this. He'd been able to observe Matsumoto Jun for enough weeks to know what he'd do. Man, Sho was going to owe him for life for this.

He pushed Sho onto his back, straddling him. "You like me, huh?" he said, linking his hands with Sho's against the sheets. Ugh, this was weird. But Sho's eyes were squeezed shut, and he was probably hearing Jun's voice for real in his head, the poor guy. "You like me?"

"I like you, Jun."

He bent forward, kissing Sho for the first time in his entire life. He'd always wondered what it would be like. He tasted pretty much like anyone who'd downed most of a bottle of umeshu would taste like, a kind of sickening sweetness, but where he expected Sho to freeze beneath him, expected Sho to shove him off and say something like "Ew, Nino, stop..." he didn't.

Sho kissed back, parting those plump lips of his so Nino could slip his tongue inside. It wasn't like making out with Aiba, who kissed because he liked kissing. This was Sho, who had to consult at least ten books before typing out a sentence on the roleplay board. Sho who had worked his ass off in school only to get rejected from every branch of the government and sent to Numazu to cater parties for the rest of his twenties.

Sho was kissing him, kissing Matsumoto Jun, with seven years of built-up regret and dissatisfaction with his life. Sho was kissing him like nothing in his life mattered more than finally saying what he was feeling, truthfully and from the heart and with zero preparation.

It was in that moment that Nino realized how happy he was for his friend to be this passionate about something that wasn't fiscal reform. Was it weird that Sho had thoroughly convinced himself that the person on top of him was a stand-in for Jun? Probably. But Sho had repressed himself for far too long, and Nino didn't dare stop. Sho needed this.

Nino did his best to fully shut the Nino part of himself off, slipping into the Matsumoto Jun skin as best he could. He moved away from Sho's mouth, pushing his blazer aside and undoing the buttons of his dress shirt. 

"Jun...Jun, I've wanted to tell you for so long."

"Yeah, I bet you have," he replied, sliding his fingers down Sho's abdomen, down the perfect abs that spoke of hours in the gym every week with little physical return on his investment. Well, Nino figured, if this incident really got Sho to come on to Jun, it would finally be worth all of Sho's time and effort. And Jun would definitely appreciate the view of Sho from the front as well as the back.

He undid Sho's belt buckle, hearing him sigh. "In Osaka...I wanted you so bad, you know. So bad..."

"Well you rejected me. I've held a grudge for seven years," he said, deftly making short work of the belt and unzipping Sho's slacks. He was beyond hard, and Nino reached for him, remembering only at the last second that Jun was right-handed, not left-handed like Nino himself. If the sensation was off in Sho's imagination, he didn't seem to notice.

"Touch me," Sho begged him, two words Nino never thought he'd hear from his best friend's lips.

He jerked Sho hard and fast. Matsumoto Jun was the efficient type, after all, and it wasn't long before Sho was panting, his frothy, saccharine-sweet love for Jun bubbling from his lips in sighs and moans. Nino hadn't heard Sho make noises like this since they were in the dorm, and Sho quietly jerked off in the early morning when he thought Nino had finally gone to bed. It was extremely adorable, but he didn't dare say anything that might break the moment for Sho.

"You're going to tell me for real," Nino said to Sho. "After the wedding tomorrow. Confess to me for real."

"I will, Jun, I will...don't stop..."

But because he was supposed to be Jun, he did stop. Sho moaned at the sudden loss of friction, arching his hips to try and rub himself against Nino's stilled hand. "Promise that you'll confess, Sakurai. I'm sick of you looking at me with those puppy dog eyes. Either shit or get off the pot."

"Jun..." Sho groaned, and Nino was utterly amazed at his friend's complete immersion in his fantasy. "Jun, why did you stop?"

Matsumoto kind of leaned toward the sadistic side, so Nino went back to the pace he'd set, watching Sho come close to the edge once more before stopping abruptly and hearing his friend whine again.

"Jun..."

"Promise me," he insisted. "You haven't promised yet."

"I promise. I'll be truthful with you tomorrow," Sho said weakly. "Just please...don't stop this time?"

"But you'll make a mess all over your clothes."

"Don't care..." Sho was desperate, trying to bring his own hand to Nino's to help him along, but someone like Jun wouldn't tolerate that for long.

"Okay, you asked for it." He ran his thumb along the underside of Sho's cock, stroking and teasing before taking hold of the bottom of Sho's shirt and using the fabric for an abrupt change in friction, hearing Sho gasp as he came moments later, the mess contained inside the shirt instead of ruining Sho's bedsheets and the rest of his clothes. Jun would be considerate enough for that at least.

Sho was exhausted, sobering up a bit as Nino clambered off of him. 

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," he said in his own voice again. "You have to provide breakfast in the morning."

He was almost to the door when he heard Sho speak again. "Nino..."

He turned, trying not to laugh at the sight of Sho sprawled out on his bed, satisfied in a way Nino had never seen him before. "Get your shirt off and sleep, idiot. You have a lot to do tomorrow."

Nino shut the door and curled up on Sho's couch, a million thoughts running through his mind. This had been one of the strangest experiences of his life, but he supposed if it was really the push Sho needed, then Nino was the only one who could have helped.

Things were starting to work out for all of his friends. Ohno had his arrangement, and Aiba and Becky were starting their own journey together. At long last, Sho had someone in his sights, and Nino imagined he now had the confidence to go after what he wanted. After all, if you could be as repressed as Sho and still sit back and let your best friend jerk you off, a simple confession couldn't be that difficult afterwards.

But where did that leave him, he thought with a sigh as he huddled under one of Sho's blankets. It smelled like him, smelled like their dorm room had, and for the first time in ages, he felt rather lonely. He didn't have girls to fling flour at him. Didn't have a sweetheart at the restaurant with technicolor fingernails. He didn't have a movie star party planning crush who'd been waiting seven years to take that first step.

If the Numazu branch office shut down, each of them would probably land on their feet, right? Nino had spent so much time ensuring that his friends were pursuing what they wanted that he'd seemingly neglected to have any dreams of his own. Because what did he have? A job that he didn't like that had the potential to disappear. An online relationship that revolved around ninjas and bear fights. And the only people he'd been with recently, Aiba and Sho, had mostly needed him as a substitute for the person they really wanted. Hell, the only other person in his immediate circle of humanity was tortoise girl.

Tortoise girl, the only one he hadn't quite figured out yet. He remembered how she'd looked that day on the fire escape, sad and alone. They seemed to have the same nose, Nino thought. Maybe it would be worth finding out if they shared anything else.

**

If Nino had been worried that getting Sho off would have a negative effect on their friendship, there was nothing to fear. He woke, limbs twisted up in Sho's blanket, to the smell of fresh-brewed coffee and a plate of buttered toast on the table.

"Thanks," Sho said, sitting and watching as he woke up, sipping his own coffee. "Thanks for last night, Nino, really. I know that had to be odd for you. I'm really sorry if it was odd...I won't ask you to do that again." 

Sho had clearly slept like a log, and even though his eyes were a little puffy, it seemed as though he'd avoided the dreaded hangover. Nino sat up, accepting the toast with a nod. "Consider it a special service. Now if you'd asked me to get on my hands and knees so you could fuck me from behind or vice versa, I'd have probably stopped you there."

Sho turned red. "Do you always have to say things like that?"

"Because of the things your face does when I say them, yes," he said, taking a big bite of his toast. Sho had managed not to burn it, something worthy of commendation.

"Well," Sho continued, setting down his mug, "Talking to me like him, that really helped, although I...don't think Jun would want to go straight to a hand job within five minutes of me confessing. Your characterization could use some work."

Nino laughed at that. "Yeah, sorry. I've always been quick to get to the point."

Sho laughed too. "We should probably get going soon. Shower's free if you need it. We can stop back at your place to get your uniform."

Well, if anything, Nino had gotten to satisfy his curiosity about what it would be like to make out with Sho. And now they were at least even as far as favors went. 

They got ready, piling into Nino's car and making a quick stop for his clothes. The wedding was up in Oyama, just south of the Fuji Speedway, and Jun himself drove the van to the venue with all the haste of a Formula One driver. Riisa was sitting beside Jun up in the front, and Nino sat behind her. She spent most of the trip looking out the window, her now characteristic glum face visible to him in the side mirror.

It was a small wedding, just family, and the venue was a very relaxed room at a local inn. Jun still carried on with his usual exacting finesse, but Sho was visibly less nervous. His easygoing smile had returned, and he brought out the meal trays with a gentleness that drew Jun's eye like no other event had in weeks. It was enough to make someone barf, but Nino was fully invested in the tale of the stick up the ass party planner and his devoted subordinate.

Dinner wrapped up quickly, and they helped clear the tables to reveal a small dance floor. The couple had hired the Numazu team to handle everything, and DJ Ohno was in charge of the music, flipping through CDs at a large stereo they'd had to borrow from one of Jun's friends back in the Kanagawa-Shizuoka office. Once the music was going, Nino slipped away, finding the kitchen empty.

Sho was scrubbing dishes all by himself, and Nino looked around in confusion. "Where's Riisa-chan?"

His friend pointed to the back exit, and a feeling of deja vu swept over him. "She said she'd be back in five, but that was ten minutes ago." Sho held up his soapy hands. "I'd go after her but I have to get this done. We should tell Jun..."

Nino felt suddenly protective, seeing as how Tortoise Girl was the only one whose life Nino hadn't seemed to help improve yet. "You've got more important things to tell Jun. I'll try and talk to her."

The exit led to the parking lot, and he found Riisa sitting down on the pavement on the other side of the Let's Fiesta van, obviously crying. He knocked on the side of the van to alert her to his presence. She moved to get up, and he waved her off. "Sit down, it's alright," he told her.

She seemed embarrassed, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm sorry, Nino...I'm sorry."

He found himself sitting right down beside her, leaning his back against the van. "Are you okay?"

"No," she said honestly. Her hair was tied into two braids, one lying on each shoulder, and Nino had the urge to tug on them to try and get a rise out of her. If she was annoyed with him, she had little time to be sad.

"Was it that awful speech the bride's brother gave? About being surprised his sister had found someone desperate enough to marry her?"

She chuckled a bit at that, sniffling. "No, it's not that."

They stared off at their surroundings. The back of the inn faced a road and beyond that were a bunch of rice fields. Nothing as pretty as the ocean view at that other wedding. "We don't know each other too well," he said to her. "But you're part of our team. You, me, Jun-kun, Aiba-chan, Sho, Oh-chan...as cheesy as it sounds, we're a team. So you can tell us anything. Anything, honest."

"It's none of..."

"My business," Nino finished for her, "I know. But we have to work together, and you know as well as I do that we're in trouble. So if you're sitting out here while there's a job in there, that reflects on all of us. If you need a break, take a break, but if it might help you to talk to me, then talk to me. I don't want to go looking for you at every wedding we do."

He took a breath, deciding on his phrasing.

"We're worried about you, okay?"

She wiped her eyes again, waving her hands at her face as if it might stop the flow of tears. She was trying to be tough, but Nino didn't think she had to be. Everyone had their rough patches.

"It's weddings," she said. "Half our business is weddings. And I...it was just before I came here. I was supposed to get married."

Nino's eyes widened. It was almost impossible to imagine her in a wedding dress, unless of course it had zebra stripes or it was a mess of colors. But there was more to Riisa-chan than what she wore, and if he kept spending his time thinking of her by the costume she'd been wearing when they'd met or the stuff she wore every day, then he was doing her a disservice.

"We had been together about six months, so it was all kind of fast. But it was all so perfect. I had the dress, my family was coming up from Nagasaki, and we'd already registered with the ward office. You know, everything was coming together," she said. "Then it's the night before the wedding, and this woman shows up at the rehearsal with two little kids, I mean little ones, maybe four and two or something, whatever..."

He wanted to wrap his arm around her as the tears kept coming, but she didn't need him for that. Her sadness made so much more sense now, as did her standoffish behavior. The asshole who'd done this to her - Nino tended toward the non-confrontational side, but the desire to punch this guy in the face was a strong one.

"He was already married," she said with a bitter laugh. "Everything from the start had been a lie. His job, the things he'd promised when we started our lives together. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. He said he didn't care that I was weird, he'd told me everything I'd wanted to hear. And none of it was true. My parents spent so much money to travel, they'd been so happy for me. But I'd just been so damn stupid..."

"You weren't..."

"I was," she insisted. "We're in this business and we go to all these weddings, and we spend time with people on what's supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. And then apparently I'm not entitled to it in my own life...I just serve them cake with a smile and tell them congratulations. But I'll never get there myself."

"Riisa-chan..."

She shook her head, braids shaking with the movement. "It's irrational, believe me, I'm well aware of it. Jun-kun knows what happened, and he let me stay on, and he didn't tell management or anything, so when word came down about Numazu, he asked me to come with him, get a fresh start somewhere else, away from the bad memories. He's a good person if you believe me or not."

Suddenly, the Matsumoto Jun Nino thought he knew needed some revisions. He was good at his job, exacting and all about perfection. But then he also stayed loyal to his feelings for Sho after all these years. He wanted to save the Numazu branch office and had come here himself to help. And then he'd been there for Riisa in her darkest time. 

Sho really needed to lock that guy down.

"I should go back inside and help Sho-san," she said, getting to her feet and brushing off her slacks. She turned to try and squint at herself in the van's side mirror.

"You look fine," he said honestly, getting up himself. 

She looked down. "I've been telling myself to just be angry, be mad at the world. But it's too exhausting, and it's not the person I want to be. I'm not mad at the world. I'm just mad at him for what he did to me."

"But then weddings," Nino said. "Weddings just drudge it up over and over again."

"So far," she admitted. "And I've told Jun-kun, and he tells me to just take my time and work through everything."

"Did it help though? Talking about it now?" Nino was almost pleading with her for confirmation that yes, he'd helped. Yes, he'd been there for her. After things with Aiba and things with Sho, he found that his need to be needed was starting to take over.

She met his eyes, and for the first time, genuinely seemed to smile at him, even as tinges of pink darkened her cheeks. "Actually...yes, creepy boy, it did. Thank you."

"You still think I'm a creep?"

She punched him in the shoulder. "Oh definitely."

They headed back inside with grins on their faces, cleaning up as Sho looked on with a nervous smile. His time to shine was still on the evening's agenda, and Nino had already informed the rest of the group that Sho and Jun needed a little "private time" once they got back to Numazu.

They made it back in seemingly record time, Nino giving Sho a nudge as they got out of the van. "Matsumoto-san?" Sho squeaked in almost too high a register.

"What?"

"There's some files in the office I had a question about. Could you spare a moment?"

Ohno was standing right behind Jun, giving an enthusiastic thumbs up. Aiba was far less subtle, pretending to hump Ohno's leg.

Jun, thankfully, didn't notice the idiocy taking place behind him. "We'll get things taken care of," Nino assured them. "Have a good night." 

Aiba got to Riisa first, offering her a ride home, which left Nino to offer one to Ohno. He happily accepted, and they buckled themselves into Nino's car as they watched the light turn on in the office upstairs.

"He's finally going to say something then?" Ohno asked, beaming from ear to ear. "Sho-kun's so cute sometimes."

"He's kind of like a drama heroine. Innocent, patient, ridiculously pretty," Nino said fondly. He didn't need to tell Ohno just what had given Sho the courage to confess, and he turned the car on, pulling out of the parking lot.

Ohno, true to form, kept most of his thoughts to himself as they drove along until they were just pulling up to his door. He leaned back into the car through the window, giving Nino a smile.

"Kashiyuka has a friend in Atami, a surfer girl friend," Ohno said. Kashiyuka being one of his three baking beauties. "I know you hate the beach, but she's single..."

A few months ago, nothing would have stopped Nino from saying yes. Surfer girls, fashion model hopefuls...Ohno always seemed to find someone who could keep Nino entertained for a few weeks at a time. But for some reason, his mouth felt dry, and he didn't have an answer to give Ohno.

He found himself thinking of Riisa, a less guarded, more cheerful version of her standing in a wedding dress being confronted by that jerk's wife, all of her happiness turning to self-loathing in a split second.

"I think I'll pass this time, Oh-chan," he heard himself saying, barely recognizing the sound of his own voice.

"Oh?" his friend replied, just as surprised. "Well, maybe next time then. Have a good night, Nino."

"You too."

As he drove away, all his thoughts that night should have been about Sho and the big life-altering step he was taking. But instead he could only think of Riisa crying in the parking lot, convinced that she didn't deserve the same happiness as others, determined never to trust anyone again.

He thought about all the things that made her weird and found himself realizing that she wasn't weird at all. She was just like him, and not just because they seemed to share the same nose. Nino coasted by without ambition, reliant on Sho's major life choices to dictate his own. Riisa couldn't trust others, and Nino couldn't seem to trust himself. Maybe they were two halves of the same whole with the nose to tie them together.

She still called him a creep, but, Nino decided, at least that was a start.


	4. Chapter 4

He spent most of the following day trying to blow up Sho's phone with mails. They had no events, and Jun had a meeting with the bigwigs, so they weren't holding office hours either. It was a day of blessed freedom. He'd gotten up around noon, watching a marathon of old Dragonball episodes while he sent increasingly obnoxious messages to his friend. 

"Are congratulations in order? Should I call your mom to celebrate?"

"Is your ass sore? Pick up the phone!"

"Did he turn you down? What's his address so I can go kill him with an icepick? Nobody will know."

"How big is his dick? You know you can tell me anything, Sho-chan" was the message that finally got him a response around 5:00 PM, an actual phone call instead of a terse mail reply.

"Sho-chaaaaan, how goes it?" he said, turning down the volume on the TV.

"It goes alright."

Nino's heart caught in his throat. "Well?" he asked Sho's silence over the line. "Well? Don't leave me in suspense, did you tell him?"

"I did," Sho admitted.

"And?"

Sho cleared his throat, not sounding happy or sad. "He said that he returns my feelings in equal measure, but that he isn't sure if now is the right time."

"What the fuck kind of answer is that? 'I want to bone you so bad, but not right now'?"

"Nino..."

He leaned back against the cushions he'd put on the living room floor, sighing. "But he does feel the same way?"

"He does."

"Didn't jack you off though?"

"He did not."

"Hmm."

The silence continued for a few moments before Sho spoke again. "I mean, at least he feels the same way. That counts for something. I didn't make a complete ass of myself. He just said he needed some time to think about it. I respect that. I made him wait all this time, what's a few more weeks, right?"

He could hear typing and clicking on the other end, and Sho continued talking.

"So what's this I'm seeing about Murasaki Shikibu, Hattori Hanzo, and a time machine?"

Nino took a peek at his laptop, still closed, and realized that it had been almost two days now since he'd logged on to Jidai Fusion Paradise. "Just something silly," he said. "You told me to give the community a try again, and I did."

"I can see that," Sho said. "Holy crap, this thread alone has over 500 comments..."

"It takes a while to get to Hiratsuka when you're being stalked by dogs trained especially for tracking by an enemy ninja clan, you know." Sho only made an irritated snort on the other end. "Hey, I can hear you judging my life over there!"

"I'm not judging your life..."

"Right."

"Look, can you do me a favor tomorrow? The printers called and said they're having the newest fliers delivered to the office but they need someone there to sign for them."

"And why can't Mr. Office Leader Jun take care of this?"

"Because he and I are going to meet with a potential client in Fujiyoshida."

"A road trip? That promises to be awkward."

Sho sighed. "Can you just do this for me?"

"Of course, Sho-chan."

"Thank you. They'll be there between 10:00 and 4:00."

He immediately regretted agreeing to this. "What? That's crazy! What will I do for six hours?"

"So call Aiba and have him sit with you. Look, I have to go."

He hung up, sighing heavily. Six hours of precious off time, and he'd be spending it at the office. If they'd just gone ahead and placed the order with Toma's company, none of this would have been necessary. But because Jun was Jun, and all the fliers had to be on some off-white specialty paper ("Essence of Eggshell!" Jun had insisted), they'd ordered from some place in Tokyo at what Nino thought was considerable expense. But, Nino figured, if management had signed off on it, it must have meant they still had some degree of confidence in the Numazu office.

He tried Aiba first, to no avail. Tomorrow he and Becky were going hiking. "The weather's going to be gorgeous!" Aiba had cheered, "the kind of day where you don't dare stay inside." Oh-chan was next, and he also had plans. He was getting up at 3:00 AM to go out deep sea fishing with some of his friends who owned a boat down at the Numazu port.

This left Nino hesitating over another option in his phone - Riisa-chan. They all had one another's phone numbers because of work, but he hadn't called her before. And the last thing he needed to do was trap her in the office with him for six hours with nothing to do. Especially now when his feelings towards her were in a weird, transitional phase. But when it came down to spending all that time alone and the slightest chance that she might show up, he decided to go with the slightest chance.

He dialed her number and said a quick little prayer.

"Nino?"

"Riisa-chan, hey. How are you?"

He could hear dogs barking in the background. "I'm at the shelter right now. It's almost bath time!" 

"Ah, I'm sorry to interrupt. But I was just wondering what you were doing tomorrow?"

Only the sound of the dogs came back over the line.

"Not a date or anything," he said quickly, feeling his heart start to race a bit in panic. "Definitely not that. Sho-chan needs me to wait around at the office all day tomorrow for a delivery. Aiba and Oh-chan are busy, Sho and Jun are driving out somewhere in Yamanashi, and I'm going to be bored there by myself. What do you say? Will you come in?"

"What time?"

"10:00 to 4:00." This was going better than his two previous calls had at least. "Not that you'd have to stay the whole time. I just...you know, it'd be nice to have some company is all."

"I can try for 11:00, how's that?" He heard some noise over the line. "Look, I'm about to be elbow deep in suds, I'll see you tomorrow, Nino."

"That's great! Thank..."

And she hung up on him. 

Not a date or anything, he'd said. Why the hell did he say something like that? That was Sho's level of awkward. He was better than that, wasn't he? But despite his odd choice of words, she'd still agreed to come in, knowing it would just be the two of them. Despite everything she'd been through, despite her issues with trust, she'd still said yes. And maybe, just maybe, he admitted to himself, he really was developing some feelings for her. Because why else would he be so happy in spite of the boring as hell task Sho had set out for him?

Having no other outlet for the feelings of giddiness that started to overwhelm him, he popped open his laptop lid. Murasaki had abandoned Hattori Hanzo for far too long. 

They had some bears to take care of.

**

The morning passed by, and Nino sat in front of Sho's work computer. He'd stayed up until half past four plotting and scheming with Hattori Hanzo. Now that they'd learned how to control the time machine thanks to the alien posing as a samurai who'd been guarding it, the whole of history, time, and space awaited.

Of course, the first thing they'd done was travel to the present day to get ice cream.

He read back through their chat, smiling at all their ridiculous dialogue.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
yo this vanilla chocolate swirl is the best ever. almost makes me want 2 stay in this era forever

User:murasaki_shikibu  
The cold concoction is almost frightening in appearance, yet upon my tongue it melts like the mountain snows in the first blessed weeks of spring. That I could share this experience with you, Master Hattori, is worth ten encounters with ninja bumblebees intent on stinging us to death.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
those bees were something else huh

The office door opened, and Nino hurriedly clicked out of the tab for Jidai Fusion Paradise. "Morning," he called, peeking around the monitor to spy the familiar zebra hoodie.

"Sorry I'm later than I said I'd be," Riisa called, hauling in a takeaway bag. "I slept in."

All was forgiven when she set the bag on the table. Croquettes, still piping hot from the restaurant around the block, and two bottles of tea from the vending machine two doors down. "How much do I owe you?" he asked.

She shrugged out of her hoodie, setting it on her chair as Nino got everything out of the bag. "It's on me."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You make a habit of buying food for creepy guys?"

She grabbed one of the tea bottles and twisted it open. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

They dug in, not having much to say when there was good food in front of them. In a job like theirs, walking from table to table with food they couldn't touch, meal time tended to be a rather hasty affair. She was unafraid of eating in big bites, the food filling out her cheeks almost like a little kid's. Or Sho's, for that matter. Nino had known a lot of girls who ate in dainty little nibbles, but Riisa didn't seem to care much about what he thought. He liked that.

They finished their meal, leaning back in their chairs with matching sighs of happiness. "So what are we waiting for again?" she asked, turning her chair slowly round and round, her braided hair swaying back and forth.

"Our brand new fliers, courtesy Matsumoto Jun's artistic stylings."

She smiled at that, checking the clock on the wall. "Half past noon now. Wanna make a bet on when it finally arrives? 1000 yen?"

He met her eyes across the table, studying her. She didn't flinch away, locking her eyes right back on his and wiggling her matching nose at him. "Alright, 1000 it is," Nino decided. "We say our times out loud on the count of three."

"One," she said.

"Two," he replied.

"3:30," they said in unison before bursting into laughter.

"Mind reading demon!" he accused her, gathering up their garbage and throwing it away.

"You're the mind reader, creep!"

They decided on a rock-paper-scissors battle. After two rocks, one scissors, and two more rocks, they stared at each other again. "How are you doing that?" he asked her.

She pointed a finger across the table at him, smiling so brightly it was impossible to look away. "How am _I_ doing that? What about you? You're the weirdo!"

"Fine," he conceded. "You can have 3:30..."

"Good!"

"...and so I choose 3:31 and all points after."

She gaped at him, picking up a stray pen from the table and flinging it at him. "No fair!"

"Hey, you picked 3:30!"

"And you're an asshole!"

Before too long she was out of her seat, grabbing a jumbo box of paper clips and flicking them at him while he picked up a file folder, using it as a shield to try and deflect her projectile attacks. Keeping the table between them, they chased each other around the room, Nino doing his best to dodge the rain of paper clips.

"We're going to have to clean this up when we're done!" he protested, nearly catching a paper clip in the eye.

"You're the one who wanted company here today!"

Before too long, she was out of ammo, and they were both panting, collapsing back into their chairs. Nino felt the crunch of paper clips under his shoes, and he started laughing, and she joined in. Chasing each other around on a full stomach had been a terrible idea, but Nino wasn't too upset. It was like Aiba or Oh-chan was here, doing this stupid kind of shit. For the first time, Riisa felt like a necessary presence in the office, as though something wouldn't feel right if she wasn't around.

"How old are you again?" she asked him, twirling around in the chair once more. "Just so we're clear on how immature we're acting."

"Twenty-nine," he admitted with a laugh.

She smiled, and now that he was getting used to seeing it and especially seeing it directed his way, he didn't want her to stop. It seemed to change her whole face. The sad girl he'd met had seemed to vanish completely.

Riisa grabbed her bag with a sigh, pulling over Aiba's chair so she could put her feet up. "Well, I brought a book so the computer's all yours."

"Sounds good," he said, grateful to go back to slacking off. He did, however, diligently walk the room, picking up paper clip after paper clip lest Jun accuse him of turning the office into a playground. As he passed her, almost completely engrossed in her book, he caught a peek at the title.

_Shogun: The Life of Tokugawa Ieyasu_

He did a double take, nearly bumping into the table in his surprise. "Riisa-chan," he said quietly, shoving some more little clips back into the box. "You like history?"

"In high school, yeah, I loved it," she murmured, turning a page of the book, totally immersed in it. "Especially the battles."

"Really?"

She nodded almost absent-mindedly. "My parents thought it was weird, a girl buying a cheap knock-off Hattori Hanzo spear on Yahoo Auctions, but there it is."

"There it is," he mumbled.

She looked over at him and smiled. "I don't stab anybody with it..." She lowered her voice ominously. "Unless, of course, they deserve it."

When he was done tidying the room, he sat down in the chair in front of Sho's computer once more. It was impossible, wasn't it? Spending all these weeks wandering 16th century Japan with Hattori Hanzo, and here was Riisa-chan the history buff who apparently owned a Hattori Hanzo spear replica. 

Keeping an eye on her in the chair across from him, he clicked his way back to Jidai Fusion Paradise. Nino had been up with Hattori Hanzo until 4:30 in the morning - and then Riisa's excuse for being late was that she'd slept in. If she'd been up until 4:30 too, that certainly explained things...

It was a coincidence, Nino told himself. It had to be a coincidence. He clicked on Hattori Hanzo's user profile, something he hadn't bothered to do in all this time. Because they'd just been chatting for fun, him and some stranger. It was a message board that gathered folks from all over Japan. How could user:hattori_hanzo2 be Naka Riisa, the girl sitting across from him in the Numazu City Animal Shelter t-shirt peppered with tiny little dog hairs? The girl who called him creep with amused affection?

A cute girl like her playing some slang-talking samurai? He stared at the profile again - just the user name with "IGA PROVINCE, YO" given as the character's location. And then a link to send the user a private message. Of course a cute girl could play a violent samurai, Nino told himself. Hypocrite. He, after all, had spent years playing a woman. So why couldn't Riisa do the same?

He couldn't stop staring, watching her purse her lips, watching her painted black fingernails turn another page. The silly language, the goofy plots, the time machine - Hattori Hanzo was just as much an escape for his player as Murasaki had always been for Nino. The curiosity was driving him crazy. There was only one way to know for sure.

He turned away from her, clicking on the private message link, taking a deep breath and starting to type.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
Private Message for User:hattori_hanzo2

Many apologies for leaving mid-ice cream last night, Master Hattori. Please let me know if you'll have time to pick up where we left off this evening? I'll be free later on. I remain humbly your friend, Murasaki Shikibu.

He bit his lip, holding the mouse over the Send button for a few moments of agony. Private messages would go straight through to your phone because it was connected to email addresses. If Riisa's phone beeped with it, then Nino had all the confirmation he needed. But at the same time, he'd be leaving her at a disadvantage. He'd know the truth, and she'd still have no idea who Murasaki was. And that wasn't necessarily fair to her.

Nino heard her turn another page, and his curiosity beat out sensitivity. He clicked send, and hurriedly clicked to another tab, staring at some sports scores as the seconds slowly ticked by. He was just about to give up when he heard Riisa's phone make a little chirping noise inside her bag.

He tried to focus on the computer screen as she reached for her purse, setting the book down on the table and pulling out her phone. Her phone that just so happened to have what looked like a tiny black ninja charm attached to it. She flipped it open and clicked on the message, and the smile that crossed her face at the sight of it made Nino's heart leap. Did Murasaki Shikibu make Hattori Hanzo just as happy?

Did this mean that he'd be a fool not to pursue tortoise girl for real?

She typed back a message faster than he thought possible, snickering to herself the whole time, before shutting her phone and picking her book up again. His phone was on vibrate, and he heard it go off in his bag where he'd left it slung over the hook by the door. Riisa didn't react at all, and Nino exhaled slowly, clicking away from the baseball results to find that Hattori Hanzo had just replied to him. There was his confirmation alright.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
Private Message for User:murasaki_shikibu

yo murasaki no worries bout last night needed 2 get up 4 a very special mission this morning anyhow. we r so on 4 tonite! ill b looking 4 u!! h.h.

He covered his mouth with his hand, seeing Riisa reading her book as though nothing was amiss. A very special mission, huh? Sitting here in the office with him? Was that the special mission?

He spent the next hour trying to concentrate on the computer, watching video recaps of games and changing Sho's desktop wallpaper from some European soccer stadium to a picture of a family of squirrels nestled in a tree. But all he could really do was think back on the past several weeks of Jidai Fusion Paradise, where the person he'd been having such ridiculous fun with had been Riisa all along.

There was a buzz at the door. Finally the fliers were here, and Riisa set down her book to look up at him triumphantly. "2:30!" she said, gesturing to the clock. "That'll be 1000 yen."

He rolled his eyes. "You picked 3:30," he said, heading for the door.

"If you took 3:31 and all points after, I got 3:30 and all points earlier," she said, staring him down. He liked her, Nino decided. It was impossible not to.

He opened the door, and the guy held out a box. "This will be the first of six."

They carried them in, setting them down on the tables for Jun to inspect, and Nino signed off on the delivery. He shut the door, task complete. Now what? "Well," Nino said, still a bit flustered. "I appreciate you coming over here."

She already had her nose back in her book, holding her hand out. "1000 yen, please."

He grinned, taking out his wallet. He even had it open and his fingers on the bill when he decided to be stupid and impulsive. "Or I could put that towards something else. You covered lunch, so let me get you dinner. Or a movie. Or something."

This got her looking up from the dry historical writing, blinking at him. "Tonight?"

"Yeah, tonight. If you want." He thought about the message from Hattori Hanzo, confirming their online "date," as it were. "Unless you're busy or something?"

She looked a bit torn, and he realized that Jidai Fusion Paradise really meant a lot to her. With its anachronisms and time machines and all that. "It's...fine," she said. "I wanted to get home a little early. You mind if we just catch a 6:00 or 7:00 PM movie?"

He nodded. "No problem." He moved over to the computer, and she got up out of the chair to follow him. Luckily he didn't have the roleplaying board open any longer, and he clicked his way to the local theater's website. "Let's see what's playing tonight then."

He tried to keep his hand steady on the mouse, even as she stood right behind him, leaning forward to look at Sho's ancient monitor, one of her braids brushing against his shoulder briefly. Now that he was a little too aware of what he was feeling, he didn't know what to do. With most people, Nino just went straight for the physical and for the last decade or more, that had seemed agreeable to everyone he'd pursued.

But this time...this time he couldn't do that. This one had to grow. He had to earn her trust. So he decided to ask if she wanted to see a comedy, nothing like an out and out romance that was a dead giveaway for what he was looking for. He figured that would be a neutral choice. But then she spied a different movie, tapping him on the shoulder as she used her other hand to point at the screen.

"Death Boat!" she cried happily, finger smearing the screen. "Oh wow, we totally have to go see Death Boat!"

"The hell is Death Boat?"

She gasped like he'd just shown up to work naked or something, pulling up Ohno's chair and sitting down, turning Nino in his chair so that they were facing one another, her knees against his knees.

"Death Boat, Ninomiya Kazunari, is the sixth film in director Ishimura Kazuo's Death Transport series!"

"Ishimura who?"

She crossed her arms, shaking her head at him in disappointment. And then to Nino's surprise she launched into a lengthy description of the Death Transport cinematic series. The first, Death Limousine, was a low budget slasher movie starring some washed-up actor as a shady limo driver who liked to murder his wealthy clients after picking them up at the airport or the office.

Death Limousine was followed by Death Taxi, which followed a similar format with less wealthy clientele. Then there was Death Limousine 2: The Reckoning, Death Plane, and finally Riisa's personal favorite (if talking about it non-stop for 20 minutes without even a sip of tea was anything to go on), Death Copter.

"The propellers, Nino," she said with a wicked twinkle in her eye. "You should have seen the propellers."

So she hadn't been lying when she'd told Ohno she was into horror movies. A genre that Nino loathed to the core of his being. Because, to be completely honest, they scared the absolute shit out of him. He hated gory murders. He hated the creepy music. He hated cheap scares. And since he had a tendency to get seasick, he imagined that sitting through Death Boat would be like a vision of hell.

But as she continued to talk at him, gesturing wildly with her hands about all of Death Copter's nubile young victims with such a cheerful smile on her face, he decided that he would try and sit through hell for her. 

He'd known after two days that his life and Sho's were meant to intertwine. About the same timeframe with Aiba and Oh-chan as well. And even if it had taken him a few months now to realize it, there was no denying that he and Riisa had a connection too. With time machines and tortoise costumes and death copters.

"Alright," he said, putting his hands on her knees and giving her a little push, the wheels under her chair coasting her back along the linoleum. "You won the bet. Death Boat it is."

**

With some time to kill before the 6:25 showing of Death Boat, they stayed together in the office. Nino sent Sho a message that the fliers had been delivered, simultaneously using the message as a way to ask if he and Jun had parked the car at the side of the road to make out yet. His short response from Sho, "thanks for taking care of the fliers," offered no resolution to Nino's inquiry, and he snickered, settling his phone back in his pocket. 

His nervousness grew as he clicked through some reviews for the movie, with fans praising the balance between suspense and gore. "I've never been so afraid in my entire life!" cheered one of the happy fans. He gulped at that one, clicking out of the review site and clearing his mind by finding some website that posted nothing but cute pictures of puppies. Maybe if he spent the movie thinking about a shiba inu in a ballerina tutu he could survive with his sanity intact.

It was soon time to go, and Riisa shoved her book back in her bag. She'd made a considerable dent in it since she'd arrived earlier that day, serving as an uncomfortable reminder to Nino that he'd eventually have to come clean about knowing who she was playing on Jidai Fusion Paradise. 

They piled into Nino's car, heading for the theater near the train station. Riisa cheerfully ran over to a giant cardboard cut-out of the Death Boat itself, snapping pictures with her phone while Nino paid for their tickets. He thought he saw her blush when he insisted on buying her some candy, but maybe it was just the odd lighting inside the theater.

His heart was racing as they entered the auditorium, and thankfully Riisa informed him that she preferred to sit up in the back of the theater rather than in the front. Nino was pretty damn sure he'd puke if he had to see everything up close without being able to look away. They took two seats in the middle of one of the back rows, and already the auditorium was filling with other horror lovers, mostly groups of guy friends or guys who'd obviously dragged their girlfriends along in hopes of them putting out after a traumatic movie experience. Nino hated guys like that, but then, wasn't he doing the same thing in reverse? Sort of?

Death Boat appeared to be more popular than Nino had even realized. The showing was apparently sold out, and the rows of seats filled up. The asshole next to him stole the armrest, and he couldn't help leaning a little closer to Riisa instead as the lights went out and things got underway.

It only took three minutes into the movie for Nino to get scared, jumping in his seat and nearly causing Riisa's box of chewy candy to go flying. She looked at him in the darkness, tapping him on his leg. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered back. "I just...I...I had a cramp. I'm fine."

"Alright," she said, sounding dubious as she popped another piece of candy in her mouth.

Death Boat was no joke. Nino spent the next hour close to hyperventilating as the boat swayed and bobbed across the waves, blood spraying bright red against the dull wooden deck as the movie's villain (hero?) crept around in fishing waders. As everyone around them seemed to cringe or cry out at each scary moment, he found himself watching Riisa's face as the light of the screen caught it.

She was positively giddy, smiling each time Nino could hear someone getting gutted or impaled on a giant hook. And he could have sworn he'd never seen her look more beautiful.

But then she turned, her smile vanishing as she caught him staring at her, and he quickly looked back at the screen only to see someone get horribly decapitated by the boat's anchor. "Oh god," he moaned in surprise, feeling the croquettes from lunch starting to tickle his stomach. 

He knew for a fact that he wasn't going to make it. 

"Nino?" Riisa's hand was so warm and comforting on his thigh, and the conflicting feelings in his stomach and now in his pants were going to make him ill.

"I need to use the bathroom," he muttered, awkwardly getting to his feet, nearly tripping over her and the rest of the moviegoers in their row. He could hear people screaming as the boat came around for a second pass and another victim in the water got torn apart. The speakers echoed with the sounds of water sloshing around noisily, and the screen seemed to tilt but only because the movie was being shot like someone was swaying on a real boat. 

"Oh god, oh god," he whispered to himself, nearly falling down the stairs with his eyes half shut to block out the screen, clinging to the railing as he desperately tried to escape the auditorium. "Oh god."

**

He made it to the bathroom, rushing inside and switching on the faucet. He splashed water on his face again and again, breathing so hard that it felt like he was in someone else's body entirely. He kept trying to conjure up Riisa's pretty, smiling, joyful face but all he could see was that head flying through the air in a gratuitous orgy of blood, and he shivered.

"Fucking motherfuck Death Boat fuck," he wheezed, knocking his fist against the sink. The _head_ was flying. The head was _flying_. And then there was the hook through the guy's intestines. "Son of a bitch fuck damn it fuck!"

He paced the bathroom floor, jittery and flustered. He heard toilets flush, and guys standing at the urinals were looking over their shoulders at him like he was a nutjob. It took a good five minutes of pacing and another solid minute with his head in the sink splashing water on himself before his heart seemed to slow down (and his babbled cursing along with it).

He was such a fucking idiot. He was here with the girl he'd finally realized he liked, and he'd fled like a coward. He couldn't even make it through a stupid movie for her. Aiba had gone ahead and confessed his feelings for Becky, and now they did horrible things together like rock climbing and bungee jumping. Post-bungee jump sex had to be amazing, he thought. Even Sho-chan had told Jun what he felt. And here he was, hiding in the bathroom after spending an hour watching her out of the corner of his eye like some creep.

He was a creep, as she'd been telling him all along. Catching himself in the mirror, his skin was even more pale than usual, his eyes bloodshot, and he was shaking like he'd just injected himself with some kind of drug. This was what he had to offer her.

Nino headed for the door, the urge to punch something starting to take over. But instead of heading back across the corridor for the Death Boat auditorium he found Riisa standing there next to the drinking fountain, looking worried. Seeing her there waiting for his pathetic ass made him want to turn around and run right back inside the bathroom. 

But then her concerned expression changed to a cute little smirk. "Oh Nino, you didn't like it, did you?"

"What? Just...I don't know, end of summer cold. It's nothing..."

She shook her head. "Don't lie to me. If you don't like movies like that, why didn't you say something?"

"It's not a matter of like or dislike..." She looked ready to smack him. "Okay. I hate movies like that. A lot. But we're here and it's paid for, so let's go back inside, alright? I'll just keep my eyes closed."

Instead she started walking in the opposite direction, her bag strapped across her body and bouncing along her hip. He followed at her heels like a lost dog. 

"Riisa-chan? The movie?"

She didn't say anything as they bypassed other moviegoers, heading for the parking structure where Nino had paid more than he'd wanted to park his car. They climbed up the steps, and she stopped them just before they got to their floor.

She turned around, blocking the door, and looked at him with a frown. "I'm really sorry. We could have gone to see something else if you'd said something. It made you sick, and I feel so horrible..."

"But you really wanted to see it," he said bitterly, still angry at himself. He couldn't meet her eyes. Aiba was a scaredy cat, but he would have made it through the movie. Oh-chan would have slept through it, hooks through intestines and everything. Sho would probably cringe and look away, but he wouldn't go fleeing to the bathroom.

She was opening her bag. "Let me at least pay you back for my ticket..."

"I wanted to watch it with _you_ ," he blurted out. "The subject matter wasn't the point. It was watching it with you that was the point."

Things grew uncomfortably quiet in the stairwell of the parking garage. And because he was already out of sorts courtesy of Death Boat, he couldn't keep his mouth from leaking vital information.

"Because I like you," he told the concrete floor somewhere around her sneakers. "But I didn't really know what to do about it because you've been hurt before, and I didn't want to say anything or do anything before you were ready. I mean, the first time we met I jumped you, so you probably still think I'm a freak. Rightly so."

Little by little she came towards him, sneakers scuffing against the ground.

"But I liked your red hair and I like your brown hair, and even if Jun-kun thinks we have the same nose, I don't think about you in a sisterly way at all. It's more than that, unless you don't want it to be. I mean, if you don't, it's okay, I don't want this to be weird between us so I just thought a movie would be a way to get to know each other better. I really want to get to know you better so..."

He didn't expect her to lean forward and wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. But she did, and there she was, locked on, and when she didn't let go, he found his own arms moving from his sides to wrap around her waist. Her bag thunked awkwardly between them, the bag with her Tokugawa book inside, and he kind of wanted to kiss her. He settled for rubbing small circles on her back.

"Thank you," he heard her say. She was so warm and smelled like some kind of citrus-y spritzy stuff and the box of chewy candy she'd been munching on. "Nino..."

"Let me drive you home, okay?" he said. "I'm really sorry for being such a wimp."

She let him go, her face red as she stepped back and away from him. "You're not a wimp."

He opened the door, and they walked slowly to his car. He unlocked the doors, and they slipped inside, buckling their seatbelts. As he turned the car on, he watched her fiddle with the zipper on her bag, dragging it back and forth nervously.

"Uh, just for clarity's sake," he mumbled. "I, uh...think I just confessed to you. I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable for you."

"It...wasn't..."

"Oh?"

"I think I'd like to get to know you better, too."

He inhaled and exhaled a breath before putting the car in drive and backing out of the parking spot. She gave him directions to her apartment, and they spent the rest of the ride in silence. The radio was playing songs that were popular about ten years earlier. He knew the words but didn't want to spoil the gravity of the situation they were in. So she wanted to get to know him better. And all it had required was him nearly passing out in a movie theater bathroom.

He pulled into the alleyway alongside her building, putting the car in park. They didn't have office hours scheduled for the next few days, and no events until the weekend. The obvious thing to ask her was when they could see each other again privately, but he was still feeling less than suave. Instead, he went with:

"Would you like me to walk you to your door?"

He watched her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag. "Ah, no. That's okay." She smiled. "Thank you." 

When she didn't move to open the door, he wondered if he'd done something wrong. "Riisa-chan?" he asked.

She opened up her bag nervously, pulling out her phone. "I kind of...I don't need you to walk me to my door, but if you...wanted to stop in for a while, I could make you coffee or something..." She was playing with the charms hanging off the phone. "But I uh, I was going to..."

Jidai Fusion Paradise, he realized. She wanted to honor her "date" with Murasaki. "It's okay," he said, "if you have other plans, it's completely fine..."

She flipped the phone open anyhow. "I think I'd rather you stayed...if you want. Hold on, this will just take a moment..."

He wanted to stop her, but already she was clicking through her contacts and typing up a mail. He could feel his own phone in his pocket. His pulse started racing, watching her fingers fly over the phone keys. "It's...it's okay, I don't really even like coffee that much..."

But then she hit send on her phone, and in seconds his pocket was vibrating noisily. In that moment, she turned to look at him, her own phone still open. Her eyes widened. She didn't have her history book to distract her this time. "Are you...going to answer that?"

He kept his hands on the steering wheel in a death grip. "It's...probably just Sho-chan..."

Nino could see it, the strange look on her face. Maybe it was what his own face had looked like hours earlier when he'd made the connection. And then she was looking at her phone again, typing up another message. She turned back to look at him, her phone beeping quietly as she pressed send once more.

And his pocket vibrated again.

"Nino?"

"Yeah?"

She pointed down at his pants. "Your phone?"

"Like I said, it's just..."

"Can you just humor me a moment?"

His hand was thoroughly shaking as he adjusted in his seat, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He flipped it open, and the screen notified him of two brand new messages.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
Private Message for User:murasaki_shikibu

something came up last minute. im so sorry to cancel on u. plz 4give me. h.h.

User:hattori_hanzo2  
Private Message for User:murasaki_shikibu

test test test test test

He shut his eyes and shoved his hand out at her, letting her read the message on his phone, hearing her sharp intake of breath.

"...Murasaki?" she squeaked.

His eyes still closed, he nodded weakly. "Master Hattori?"

He expected her to flee, to jump out of the car and slam the door closed. She'd race up the stairs and lock herself inside her apartment. Then she'd go online and delete everything they'd unknowingly written together. And then she'd call up Jun and get him fired.

But she didn't. 

"You...play a woman?"

He opened his eyes, turning to look at her in confusion. "You play a guy?" he accused her right back.

She surprised him then with a bright smile. "How about that coffee?"

He killed the engine and followed her inside. It was a small apartment, made all the smaller because of the huge spear replica mounted on the wall behind her bed. She hadn't been lying, and he couldn't help smiling at the sight of it. There were bookshelves filled with worn paperbacks along another wall, samurai novel after samurai novel. 

He settled himself at her small table, and when she came in, setting down the coffee mugs, they stared at each other. He searched her eyes; Master Hattori, in the (female) flesh. "So," she said, breaking the odd tension. "You like the time machine idea?"

"So," he shot back, "you like typing like a ten year old?"

They both started laughing, not stopping until they each had tears in their eyes, and he realized that he liked her more than ever. He'd found his Master Hattori, and she'd found her Lady Murasaki. The universe had an odd way of working these things out. 

She brought out her laptop, settling it on the table between the two of them, and they spent the next three hours pointing and laughing at the conversations they'd had together unknowingly over the past several weeks. Looking back, he found a few sloppy instances where he'd used more masculine language, and she called him out on it - but she'd never noticed it the first time around, and he teased her right back.

"I haven't had this much fun in a long time," she admitted, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. "Oh wow, Nino, you don't make such a bad Heian-era lady."

"And you make for a really bizarre old man," he replied, sending her onto the floor, laughing hard enough to snort, and then that set him off again.

When they finally got through all of their threads and had laughed themselves out, she closed the laptop, beaming at him. "We can still play right? Even if we know who's on the other side of the screen?"

He smiled in return. "On one condition."

"Mm? What's that?"

"We use the time machine to go hunt down the killer from Death Boat."

She covered her mouth, nearly screaming in laughter, using her other hand to wave at him in agreement. Their coffee long finished, he got to his feet. It had been an extraordinary day - between the day at the office, the disaster of a movie, and their roleplaying discoveries, he'd realized that Riisa was someone he truly needed in his life.

She walked him to the door, and he slid his sneakers back on. "I was so worried about missing Jidai Fusion Paradise tonight," she said to him quietly, and he found himself reaching his hand out to grasp hold of her fingers. He was pleased when she squeezed back. "I was so worried, and you were here all along."

"Master Hattori, I'll be here as long as you have need of me," he said, looking into her eyes. "We make quite the pair."

"We do, don't we, Murasaki baby?" she admitted, tugging him a bit closer until he was inches from her mouth.

"A proper lady never makes the first move," Nino reminded her, even as he moved his free hand around her to settle on her back.

"Oh?"

"It would surely be vulgar," he said.

"It's a good thing I'm here then," she whispered, leaning forward with none of the hesitation she'd shown earlier that evening.

"Very good."

That their noses bumped on their very first kiss had to be some cosmic sign from the universe that they were obviously meant to be. 

In the past few months, he'd mostly kissed guys he was already friends with or random girls Ohno had set him up with. This was the first in a long time that Nino felt he'd had to work for, and he found himself smiling against her lips, reveling in the simplicity of getting those first few tentative kisses with her. He was twenty-nine, and he felt half his age. He lightly tugged on one of her braids as he deepened their kiss, and she retaliated by slipping her hand into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling him against her. It took everything he had not to press for more.

She stopped them first, moving away with a small smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. "I'll see you online," she said, giving him a wink.

"See you there," he said.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days seemed to pass in a flash. The saga of Hattori Hanzo and Murasaki Shikibu went on unchanged, though he was able to detect a far flirtier tone in his own writing and a far more protective, possessive tone coming from Master Hattori's.

Off of the message boards, life was still moving along. Death Boat was somehow number one at the box office, Ohno had managed to catch a record-breaking fish that was the talk of the harbor, and Sho and Jun had returned from their road trip with both good and bad news.

The good news was that the Numazu branch office would be teaming up with folks from Nagoya as well as the Kanagawa-Shizuoka office in Yokohama to work a wedding at a hotel near the Fuji-Q Amusement Park. It was a major undertaking with the daughter of Panasonic's CFO marrying some equally wealthy guy who'd graduated from Todai and worked overseas.

The bad news was that this wedding was apparently going to be the make or break for the Numazu office. Jun's supervisor and a member of the Tokyo management would be at the event observing their performance. Even today, two days before the event, Sho was a bundle of nerves as they sat in the cafe, and he watched his friend down latte after latte.

"But Jun-kun's in charge," Nino tried to assure him. "And you know more than anyone how capable he is."

Sho shook a packet of sugar, tearing it hastily and sending some of it spraying across the table as he upended it into his mug. "He's very capable."

"My Sho-chan wouldn't want to get into an incompetent person's pants." Sho scowled at him, sipping his drink. "Sore subject?"

"He says I can't be his second-in-command for the wedding. He's putting me in charge of seating."

"Seating's a big deal," Nino said. He paused, scratching his head. "It is, right?"

Sho looked down. "He told me that we both need to be in top form with his bosses there and that if we were working so closely on the big day I might distract him. We had a long talk on the car ride home the other day."

Nino grinned. "He wants you really bad. And he still won't make a move?"

"No."

"And you haven't because...?"

"Do we always have to talk about my love life? Or lack thereof?" Sho distinctly seemed to forget the personal sacrifice Nino had made to get him in a place where he could confess - wasn't the next logical step just to defy Jun's expectations and jump his bones? Nino wasn't really in the mood to jerk him off again as a reminder.

"We could talk about Oh-chan's love life if you want. You know how he is, do you think he lets those cute girls spank him with a rolling pin?"

Sho set down his mug in disgust. "Why don't we talk about yours then? You've been distracted lately so what is it? Is it because of Aiba-chan and Becky? I know you and him had...whatever it was you had. Or are you just having cybersex on the message board in your time machine?"

"As a matter of fact..." he started to say, letting his voice trail off as he felt his cheeks start to redden. Sho was here beating himself up for wanting to hook up with a co-worker, and Nino had just kind of sort of gotten together with another with zero shame. 

"As a matter of fact what?" Sho asked. "Do I know this person?"

He waved his hand. "It doesn't matter."

"Nino, you can tell me anything. I've been dumping all my personal stuff on you the past few weeks, and you've been...well, you've mostly been irritating as shit about it but otherwise you've been a good listener so come on. Who is it?" Sho's face paled. "Wait. It's not...I mean, after that night you came over...oh god, it's not..."

"It's not you, asshole," Nino protested. 

Sho seemed to exhale in relief. "Don't scare me like that."

"Look, I was online and I was Murasaki, and Hattori Hanzo and I had this connection, and then what do you know, it turns out it was Riisa-chan and I like her and we went out and we're together now so..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sho said. "Slow down, wait a minute, wait a minute...Riisa was roleplaying as a _guy_?"

"That's the part you zero in on?"

But where Nino expected Sho to whip out a rehearsed lecture about propriety and "how many times have I told you to stop dating people you work with?" and "Jun will hunt you down and kill you slowly and painfully," Sho actually smiled at him.

"You and Riisa-chan? Really?"

He nodded. "Yes really."

Sho laughed. "Jun said this would happen."

"He what?"

"He told me about that party. About you jumping on her in that tortoise costume. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his whole life, and clearly the two of you would be an interesting match."

Nino fumed. Jun knew? Jun had seen everything? And he'd never said anything? Matsumoto Jun with his humorless "in the party zone 24/7" face and his absolute refusal to bang Sho's brains out? That Jun? He was playing wishful thinking matchmaker all this time? Nino would kill him, but of course, he'd have to wait until after the wedding of the century.

Sho laughed at Nino's discomfort, flagging down their waiter. "You guys should make a cute couple. After all, you both have the same nose."

Nino didn't even feel bad when he kicked Sho in the shin under the table.

**

The wedding was so large that there seemed to be a member of staff for every other guest. The food from Chocolate Disco Desserts and Shimura's had been declined in favor of the Panasonic CFO's personal chef and his staff from some luxury restaurant in Tokyo that had a Michelin star. 

Even now they were going table to table with the dessert course, Nino's tray covered in tiny plates, each topped with a bizarre looking dollop of chocolate mousse, a lone raspberry, and a decorative mint leaf. He was fairly certain that whatever CDD had to offer would have been far more satisfying, but given the clientele, this type of food was expected and preferred to something that might have actually tasted good. It was all about appearance with these people.

He and Riisa-chan had been stuck with two of the tables in the rear of the room, as far from the head table as possible. He had a feeling this was Jun's doing, if only to make things a little easier on Riisa. A wedding was a wedding, and she disliked them just about as much as he had hated Death Boat. But something had changed.

At previous weddings, she'd smiled politely, setting down plates and walking the room with trays of champagne like some kind of pretty robot. But her smile was different today. It didn't seem as forced, and Nino wondered what had changed.

He got his answer when they were done handing out the dessert plates, and he found her in the kitchen setting down her tray as staff from the other offices went in and out of the swinging doors. She hadn't turned her smile off upon entering the kitchen. She hadn't gone out the door to be alone with her unpleasant memories. Instead she was cracking jokes with Ohno, talking shoes with the girls she'd known from the Kanagawa-Shizuoka office, and as soon as she saw Nino at the other side of the kitchen she waved at him, sending the girls around her into a fit of cheerful giggles. 

She left her friends behind, walking over to him. "Hello."

"Hello," he replied, moving the both of them out of the way as a guy from the Nagoya office came rushing past them, Jun at his heels screeching about a missing raspberry.

They stayed back, waiting for Jun to order them back out onto the floor to round up the plates, and they kept their hands behind their backs. He moved his fingers over slightly, finding hers. "You doing okay?" he asked her.

She gave his hand a squeeze. "Everyone out there is a ninja from the Koga clan," she whispered. "They may attack at any time. We must remain vigilant, my lady."

He grinned. Riisa had found the courage to get through weddings, and it was all thanks to Hattori Hanzo and Murasaki Shikibu. 

"Should a wayward ninja strike at you during the Electric Slide, Master Hattori, I will surely endeavor to aid you in whatever way I can."

"You've gotten pretty strong, Murasaki baby. Color me impressed."

Jun clapped his hands for the kitchen's attention, and he and Riisa separated, heading back out to the banquet hall. The evening went long, but if Nino had to guess it was a resounding success. No strained backs on the dance floor, no awkward speeches going on too long, and no drunken board members had to be quietly escorted out.

When the guests were gone and they were tidying up with the hotel staff, Nino found Sho fidgeting around while Aiba and Ohno helped dump tablecloths into laundry carts. "Sho-chan, what's eating you?"

His friend inclined his head, and Nino's eyes drifted across the room until he spotted Jun surrounded by his superiors. Jun's face wasn't normally that cheerful on account of him being in serious work mode most of the time Nino was ever around him. But if Nino had to identify the look on Jun's face right now, it was almost depressed.

"We did everything right," Sho was whispering. "If anyone screwed up, it was the kids from the Nagoya office. Whatever happens, this was not Numazu's fault. All of you did so well tonight."

Nino wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders in encouragement, even as he felt his own confidence slipping away. They really had worked hard, all of them had. He couldn't bear the thought of them all being separated. He and Riisa were just getting started. He didn't want to come to work if Aiba or Oh-chan weren't going to be there to keep him entertained with the stupid things they said. He'd even come around on Jun (mostly). This wasn't fair.

They watched Jun bow to management, and he turned around and walked back over. His expression gave nothing away. "Let's get going. We need to gas up the van before we head back home."

They grabbed the others, and from the looks on Jun and Sho's faces, everyone knew to stay quiet. They piled into the van, yawning quietly. Sho drove, Jun tapping his fingers nervously against the window glass as they left the gas station and headed for the highway. Ohno and Aiba took the first row of seats behind them, and Nino settled in the back with Riisa, and she reached for his hand almost instantly as soon as they drove off into the dark.

They were about halfway home, give or take a few kilometers, when Jun cleared his throat. "I have a few things to say."

The van was dead silent save for the hum of the air conditioning.

"First off, there's no need to panic. Management has decided to keep the Numazu branch open."

Aiba thumped the back of Jun's seat with his foot. "Oi! Your face looked like someone died! We thought we were all out of a job!"

Nino squeezed Riisa's hand tightly. There'd still be a Numazu office. They were all staying together!

"I'm sorry," Jun said, and while Sho was trying to focus on the road ahead of them, Jun's eyes turned toward him. "I have another thing to say though."

"Spit it out then," Ohno said, surprisingly vocal.

"Management has decided to promote me. They are really happy with the turnaround on the Numazu numbers, and they have offered me a new role in the company as a mobile trainer. I'll go around the country to help struggling offices stay open," he explained, and Nino saw Sho's grip on the steering wheel tighten. "This means that I will be leaving the Numazu branch in Sakurai-san's more than capable hands again."

"You're leaving?" Aiba asked him. "When?"

"They've asked me to visit one of the branch offices in Kumamoto starting next week."

"Kumamoto?" Aiba cried. "That's so far!"

"Sho-kun?" Ohno murmured, and Nino noticed that Sho had the van's turn signal on and was heading for the next off ramp, and even in the dark he was pretty damn sure this wasn't the exit they needed to use. "Sho-kun, I think we have a way to go yet..."

Jun tapped the dashboard with his hand. "Sakurai, where are you going?"

Sho sped up, the van flying down the off-ramp towards some small cluster of houses and a strip mall on the outskirts of the nearest town, Gotemba if he had to guess. "Sho-chan?" Nino asked. "Sho-chan, what's wrong?"

He pulled the van into the strip mall's empty parking lot, and the clock on the van's dashboard read 2:03 AM. They were all exhausted. What the hell was Sho doing?

Sho put the van in park, leaving the engine running and the lights on. "Matsumoto-san, could I have a word?"

Nobody said anything as Sho opened his door, slamming it shut behind him. Jun followed soon after, and the four of them were left stranded in the van as the two normally calm, normally not completely fucking insane members of their office moved some distance away and started arguing, the van's headlights casting their shadows against the wall of the small, local shops.

"The hell are they doing?" Aiba wondered.

"Maybe we should roll one of the windows down?" Ohno ventured. "Listen in?"

Riisa leaned forward, giving Ohno a tap on the head. "Don't you idiots understand anything?"

Nino could only watch his best friend on the other side of the parking lot, obviously upset as he continued yelling and pointing at Jun. And Jun stood there, taking whatever verbal assault Sho was flinging at him. Then it escalated, Sho giving Jun a shove, and Jun shoving right back.

"I kind of have to pee," Aiba mumbled. "Do you think if I got out and came back that it would be weird?"

"Just hold it," Riisa chided him. 

Ohno nodded his head. "Do you think this is about Jun being a mobile...?"

"Whoa!" all four of them shouted in unison and in complete surprise as Jun grabbed Sho's face and started kissing him like some scene out of a drama. Or a movie. Not a movie like Death Boat, but whatever, Nino thought, feeling a strange sort of pride as Sho kissed back, turning the two of them to push Jun against the wall of the building. Seven years of buildup, and it seemed they couldn't take much more of it.

About fucking time, he thought, smiling.

"Come on," Riisa said, "turn the headlights off, let them have a moment."

"This is kinda hot," Aiba said with a giggle. "Maybe we should honk the horn so they'll keep going."

"I need popcorn," Ohno joined in.

"You're all a bunch of perverts," Riisa chided them, climbing over the seat, nearly elbowing Ohno in the face as she moved to the front of the van and switched the headlights off. 

"Awwwww," Ohno and Aiba moaned together. 

Riisa climbed up and over the seat again, Nino having to help tug her back. When she got seated again, she was right next to him, their thighs touching, and he couldn't help but put his arm around her.

A few minutes passed, Aiba spending nearly the entire time complaining about his bladder, before the two front doors opened, and Sho and Jun reentered the vehicle.

"I have to pee," Aiba said, sliding open the door as soon as Sho had put the headlights back on, running off into the dark in search of a bush.

"I'm sorry," Sho said, sounding mostly out of breath. "I uh...we..."

An odd, high-pitched sound started to echo throughout the van, and Nino would have believed it was some wild animal in the distance until he realized it was Jun, and he was laughing hysterically. Matsumoto Jun, Mr. Psycho Party Planner, and he was laughing in complete and utter joy.

**

The rest of the ride back was far less tense, Ohno sleeping through most of it, and Riisa nodding off a few times next to him before Sho pulled into the office parking lot.

"We'll have office hours the day after tomorrow," Jun said to everyone, though he only seemed to have eyes for Sho. Which was adorable and weird at the same time, but Nino was thrilled for Sho, who had finally gotten what he wanted. "So everyone show up by 10:00, if you don't mind. We'll discuss the transition."

Aiba half-carried Ohno over to his car, bidding everyone farewell, and it was obvious to Nino that Jun and Sho's night wasn't yet over. Riisa was still in and out of sleep, and he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Let me get you home, Master Hattori," he whispered, hoping the others wouldn't overhear.

"Mm, sounds good, dude," she murmured, snuggling against him.

Nino knew as soon as he stopped driving that he would probably fall asleep, and he turned the car radio on softly as he drove towards Riisa's apartment, listening to some shitty pop music just to keep himself awake. She was completely out when they arrived, and he pinched her cheek lightly to wake her.

"Come on, ninja warrior, you're home."

"Stay?" she asked, leaning across the seat and lazily kissing his cheek. "Stay here tonight?"

It sounded preferable to driving back across town half asleep and the company seemed far better, so he pulled the car around the corner and found a place to park. They shuffled along the sidewalk under the street lights, stumbling up the steps. It took her a solid minute to find her keys inside her bag, but she finally got the door open. They got their shoes off, shedding their work clothes lazily as they moved along.

He was too tired to appreciate it when she shimmied out of her slacks, leaving them halfway between the entryway and her bed. He tossed his own clothes on top of hers, down to his boxers and black dress socks, feeling half dead. She stumbled over to her cabinet in her bright orange bra and panties, pulling out an extra pillow for him, and somehow they got the light out and made it into her bed.

He wrapped an arm around her, drifting off to sleep with dim awareness of the giant Hattori Hanzo spear looming above them protectively. 

When Nino woke, the clock on the wall read 9:37, and he rolled over, finding the bed empty. As he blinked awake, he saw the messy pile of clothes on the floor, realizing for the first time in his life that his clothes were mingled with someone else's and it wasn't because of sex. He chuckled to himself, hearing the shower turn off in the bathroom.

He stayed under the sheets, enjoying the scent of them, a mix of a different laundry detergent than what he used and whatever that damn citrus spritz-y stuff was that she wore all the time. He smiled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. What a week it had been. Near-death experience at the movies, spending the night with his dream girl slash online roleplay partner, and he'd gotten to see his best friend make out with the person he was in love with in the middle of the night in an empty parking lot. Life, Nino thought, was really interesting after all.

She emerged from the bathroom, walking around casually in a lime green bra and panties, her dark brown hair twisted up in a pink towel. "Weren't those orange the last time I saw them?"

She smiled at him, as if there was nothing weird about him being in her bed at 9:30 in the morning. "They were. But orange is for Saturdays. Green is for Sundays."

"You have color theme days for underwear?"

"There's a lot you have to learn about me, Ninomiya," she said, sitting down on the bed and patting him on the head. "Go on, shower's waiting, and you smell like the work van."

He laughed, getting up and heading to the bathroom to relieve himself with a sigh before hopping into the shower. He could get used to this, he thought, rolling his eyes at the waterproof duckling decals that Riisa had attached up and down the shower tile. His shower at home didn't have anything remotely cute about it.

He turned the water off, hearing the bathroom door open. "You bring clothes for me?" he asked the steamy room. No response. "Riisa-chan?"

He poked his head around the side of the shower curtain, finding her standing in the doorway smiling, still in her underwear, and he grinned. "You're not dressed yet."

"Do you want me to put some clothes on?" As she walked forward, he could see there was more to her bra and panties than just "green." There were small polka dots on the fabric, and the panties had tiny little bows on the elastic band on each hip. Little bows that seemed to be screaming "let's play!"

"No," he said slowly, taking a deep breath. "No, I think you're good to go."

She winked at him. "Come here."

She didn't need to tell him twice. He didn't bother with a towel, and they met in front of her sink. She didn't seem to mind that he was still soaking wet, sliding his hand down her bare back and pulling her against him.

She tilted her head back so he could kiss along her throat, making the most perfect, joyful sound as she felt him against her, hard and wanting already. She wrapped her arms around his neck, demanding that he kiss her, and he was more than happy to give her what she wanted. His fingers skimmed down her body, moving from her back to the outside of her panties and their maybe-we-should-play-right-now bows. He swallowed her pleased moan as he rubbed her through the thin cotton and then slipped his hand inside. 

She had probably woken up with this in mind, plotting this whole thing like one of their Jidai Fusion adventures. Shower, walk about in underwear, then seduce new boyfriend when he's probably spent his entire shower wanting you. She was warm and oh so welcoming, arching up against him at the first sensation of his fingers against her. She rocked herself against his hand, smiling. Riisa had been through a lot, and maybe, just maybe, Nino could be the one to help make things right again.

He pulled his mouth away from her, his request for a condom almost lost in her damp hair since she was a step ahead of him, already turning around and fumbling in her medicine cabinet. He saw himself reflected in the mirrored door of the cabinet, saw how badly he wanted her, and he saw her smile widen.

"Alright, now that I've seen that face on you, Nino, I'm going to need to keep watching it," she said, pulling out a box and shutting the cabinet. She turned back around, tearing at the foil wrapper. "Look at me."

He sighed when she found him, rolling the condom onto him quickly before turning around so her back was to him. She waved at his reflection in the mirror. 

"Hello!"

"Hello," he replied, standing back a bit as she slowly slid her underwear from her hips to her knees, bracing herself against the sink. "You keep looking at me like that, and this will be over really quickly. You sure this is your idea of the right first time with me?"

"I don't mind. We can try something else next time," she said cheerfully, the same sort of cheerful she'd displayed at the movie theater. Probably the same gleeful expression she wore whenever she typed long paragraphs about "stabbing zombie samurai goons in the back, yo." She implied that this would definitely not be the last time. He needed her, wanted to lose himself inside her. Right now.

For all that she wanted to watch them in the mirror, her eyes shut tight as he got behind her, slowly and steadily guiding himself into her. She was so warm and wet for him, and it took all he had not slam into her like some jerk. He eased in and out of her a few times, sighing at the feeling of her body all around him. Before too long she had her eyes open again, watching him as he put his hands on her hips and quickened his pace.

He loved seeing her smile, feeling her push back against him as he moved. This was something he could definitely get used to. But before too long, watching themselves in the mirror proved to be a little troublesome. He couldn't help looking down, watching their bodies come together, seeing his cock disappear inside of her again and again. His hands were still a little slippery. Hell, his whole body was still wet from the shower, and he held on to her as tight as he dared.

"Lick your fingers," he told her. "Lick your fingers and touch yourself with them."

She half-laughed, half-moaned at his order, gripping the sink with one hand as best she could. He watched her slip two fingers in her mouth, watched them vanish all the way to her knuckle, and he almost lost it. Then they were out of her mouth and between her legs, and she sighed.

"Touch yourself," he repeated, losing control of himself, repeating it until forming words became problematic. It wasn't much longer before he came hard, rocking against her as she continued to touch herself. His mind was clouded, but happy as he watched in the mirror. He stayed inside her, feeling her move with increasing desperation, muttering his name under her breath until she gasped, bringing herself off.

When the ability to speak returned, he dropped a kiss on her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her middle. "You know. It wouldn't be very eco-friendly if we each showered again."

"It wouldn't be," she agreed, leaning back against him. "Very wasteful."

But any love for the environment they had meant little when she pulled away from him and yanked the shower curtain open to step back inside. And it would be rude not to join her.

**

User:hattori_hanzo2  
im back. look at all the swag i got. all i had 2 do was trade those silver jewels we won in that poker tournament on ceti alpha prime. u remember that 1, it was against the aliens that looked like rhinos fufu.

User:murasaki_shikibu  
*Murasaki peruses the items that Master Hattori has received in trade, her eyes widening at the sight of the plasma blaster pistol* Could that possibly be for me?

User:hattori_hanzo2  
of course babe. only the best 4 the lady in the battle kimono who has my back. *hattori settles the pistol in murasakis shaking hands, clasping them in his own* let me teach u how 2 use it ok?

User:murasaki_shikibu  
*Warmth suffuses her entire body at the slightest touch from the man she's come to admire...and perhaps even...?* It would be an honor to be instructed by you.

**

The four of them, sitting around the tables in the Let's Fiesta office, gaped unattractively at the two men standing before them.

Nino held up a hand. "Wait now. Just hold on a minute here. The calendar on the wall reads September to me, not April Fool's Day."

Sho looked almost embarrassed, maybe even sad, but he stood his ground with Jun looking kind of smug at his side. "I know I'm not usually the type for quick decisions like this, but the opportunity has presented itself and I can't say no..."

The day had started out like any other, another slog through office hours before an evening cocktail party some bank was holding at the Awashima Marine Park. But then Jun had arrived, Sho in tow. And Sho announced that after some negotiating with the main Let's Fiesta office, Jun's mobile training position had somehow become a team effort.

A team effort where Matsumoto Jun and Sakurai Sho were a two-man operation, set to leave for Kumamoto in the next week. Together.

"Sho-chan you can't just..." Aiba said, barely able to speak. "You can't just leave."

The implication, of course, was that Sho couldn't just leave _them_. This was all happening way too fast.

Jun cleared his throat. "Management says that whichever of the four of you wants to step up, your training will be all expenses paid, and you can do most of it online now. We'll hire in a few more bodies to round out the team, and besides, we're not leaving you hanging. Sho-kun and I are still going to live in Numazu."

"For what, three days a year?" Nino shot back, hurting. 

"More like three months. We'll work three weeks out of every four on the road, then we'll be here with you all for a week," Sho explained. "It's not like we're moving to Mars or anything."

Nino found himself getting out of his seat, seeing Aiba and Ohno's shell-shocked faces. Riisa's was calmer, but that was probably because she hadn't worked with them for that long. He opened the door and headed for the exit. 

This stupid job. This stupid fucking job. Underappreciated, underpaid. And what else was he good at, huh? Typing?

Sho found him leaning against the building a few moments later.

"Nino..."

"I get it," he said, feeling like an asshole. Or a kid. A twenty-nine year old kid. "You've got a way out, you've found it with him, and you're taking it. Congratulations."

Sho stood next to him, looking out across the parking lot to the concrete walls closing them in, the life in Numazu they'd never really planned for. The life neither of them had particularly wanted. "I realized it the other night. When he said he was going to Kumamoto. It was like my brain shut down. I couldn't just let him go, you know? Not after everything. Not when I was so damn sure what I was feeling. And so I told him that..."

"With your tongue," Nino said. "We all saw that, you know."

Unlike most other occasions, Sho didn't see much need to blush or get embarrassed. "We've been out of that dorm room for almost a decade, but neither of us has ever really acted like it."

He grinned at that. "Not really, no."

"And I worry that if I stay, if things around here don't change, if we don't let them change, we're just going to be here feeling sorry for ourselves forever. I still don't know if the answer to that is training people from Kyushu to Sapporo, but if it's Jun..." Sho's voice seemed to get quieter. "I don't know, I just have to do this. Because it's not me, not how I've always been, and maybe that's all the more reason to do it."

Nino already knew that Sho was right. That it was better to take a chance than to sit on your ass and settle. He'd been aimless for a decade, and he'd used Sho as a crutch, as an anchor for far too long. Everything in Nino's life would remain stagnant if he allowed it to. 

"If you quit," Sho said, "I don't think anyone would hold it against you. It's not the end of the world if you want to do something else with yourself. Aiba-chan, Satoshi-kun, they wouldn't be mad."

Nino crossed his arms, trying to imagine a life where he didn't walk around parties setting down plates. A life where Aiba and Oh-chan could just be his friends instead of the people he suffered in relative silence with. An adult life, out on a limb. No Sakurai Sho safety net keeping him comfortable.

It was time to finally grow up.

"You should write," Riisa said later that evening after the party, making the long walk home from the Marine Park together. "You're saying you don't know what to do with yourself. Maybe you should write. You're good, you know."

"Write? About what?" he asked, lacing their fingers together. "About Hattori Hanzo and Murasaki Shikibu fighting zombie rats after a nuclear apocalypse in 2095?"

"Why not?" she said, leaning closer. "You've got your one-woman editor slash cheerleader slash biggest fan right here. If anyone knows the plot, it's me. It'll be a best seller, guaranteed."

"Most authors get rejected," he pointed out. But already the wheels were turning. All these weeks he'd never been happier. It had very little to do with work, and everything to do with the ongoing adventures of Hattori and Murasaki. With Riisa-chan in his life working her strange chatspeak magic. With his fingers flying across his keyboard, throwing caution and historical accuracy to the wind.

They reached a red light and came to a stop.

She brought her hands to his face, staring into his eyes and smiling. "Most authors don't have me," she teased him before bringing their lips together.

**

One year later

**

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**

Nino wasn't used to weddings where he spent the reception sitting down.

Even now he kind of wanted to criticize the way some of the kids (and they _were_ practically kids) were setting the plates down before them. It was probably the residual Matsumoto-esque precision that he'd never forget, even if it had been almost a year now since he'd worked a party. Even if his girlfriend ran the Numazu branch office, Nino and party catering had amicably parted ways.

It had taken almost all of that time to work on his manuscript, pulling shifts at the convenience store around the corner to stay afloat. In a few weeks he'd start shopping it around. Good or bad, Nino had spent the year a lot happier and far more fulfilled than he'd spent the last ten. Some people were born knowing they were writers. It seemed in his case that he'd needed the better part of three decades to actually realize it.

The year had done all of them good, and quitting really hadn't been the end of the world. The Numazu branch had seen Nino leave first, followed by Aiba and finally Oh-chan. Ohno had become a full-time fisherman, riding the waves with lovingly-made brownies shaped like boats to sustain him during each day out at sea. And Aiba and Becky were going to take over Shimura's together now that the old man who owned the place was retiring. The food being brought around to the tables had been selected by the bride and groom themselves, smiling like a pair of idiots in the center of the main table as they reminded their guests of that fact.

Aiba, a married man. It somehow felt right, and Nino wondered if he'd be sitting here at their wedding if he hadn't given Aiba that kick in the ass about her. He wondered if he'd have Jun and Sho sitting together opposite him, the two of them Let's Fiesta Japan's Employees of the Year (the first time dual recipients had been announced), if he hadn't taken on Matsumoto's voice and given Sho that extremely awkward push.

He wondered if he'd be where he was if his friends hadn't given him a push right back.

He turned his head, seeing Riisa standing at the edge of the banquet room, bluetooth thing in her ear and clipboard in hand. She'd been trained by the best, after all, even if her bright blue dyed hair didn't necessarily adhere to company protocol. She gave him a brief wink before heading off to the kitchen to order her staff around.

She found him later when Aiba was at the center of the dance floor, whirling his new wife around with a smile like sunshine. Aiba always had loved weddings. He felt Riisa's arms snake around him, hugging him from behind and nuzzling against the back of his neck.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" he teased her. "I'm sharing a table with two of your superiors, and I could report you."

"Do you want to know how much you love me, Murasaki baby?" she asked.

"Mm, how much? Is it more than I did this morning?"

"Much more."

"And why is that?"

"Because Kamenashi-kun, the newest member of my staff? It seems his father is in management at Sunscape Publishing. And gosh, that kid would do just about anything for his boss to make a good impression." She poked him in the side. "Oh wait, _I'm_ his boss! Fancy that!"

He smiled at that, seeing Aiba's dancing grow more wild as a faster song started up, but Becky and her white and gold wedding nail polish special were keeping up without any problems. Two of Ohno's lady friends danced together happily, the third back at the table with him feeding him a cupcake. Jun and Sho, ever the perfect workaholic duo, sat together rambling on about business (the new payroll system, rolling out any day now!) instead of just relaxing. 

"Ah," he finally said. "Master Hattori, you and your sneaky ninja tricks."

Everyone was the same but different. Changed for the better. They were still in Numazu, but it was a different Numazu. If that made any sense, Nino thought with a grin. 

Maybe you couldn't see Mount Fuji from the bathroom window, but if you just moved a few rooms over, you could see it with no trouble. It was there if you simply took the time to look.


End file.
